Some Are Lost
by cdrsheppard
Summary: Sheppard & McKay are abducted and separated on a desert world. Both must struggle to escape and survive. Sheppard is brought to his edge. McKay must hold on to save them both. Buddy bonding, major whump, drama, humor, friendship. Angst. No ship. Season 5
1. Chapter 1 & 2

**Title:** Some Are Lost  
**Author:** n7cdrsheppard / ravenxmen  
**Fandom:** SGA  
**Characters: **Sheppard, McKay centric. Some team.  
**Timeline: **Season 5  
**Summary:** Sheppard & McKay are abducted and separated on a desert world. Both must struggle to escape and survive. Sheppard is brought to his edge. McKay must hold on to save them both. Buddy bonding, major whump, drama, humor, friendship. Angst. No ship.  
**Warnings:** Some language, physical descriptions. Some violence.  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Word count:** 23,208 total. Seven chapters.  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own or profit from any SGA character or concept.  
Author note:  
This was epic for me. It is the companion idea to another story I have written, 'The Ghosts Between Us. It is about the bond between Sheppard and McKay.  
It is dedicated to ltcoljsheppard, and to all the John & Rodney teams out there. :)  
Comments welcome.

SOME ARE LOST

_________________________*Chapter 1

The fatigue burned through his thighs and pulled against his backbone as he crested the ridge, now bathed in a rusty nightfall. The atmosphere was thin; poor in oxygen, causing his heart to work harder with each stride. The view dimly washed out to the distance in waves of barren dunes and spines of black stone. Night came as a hard won mercy, at last relieving his body of the suns scalding retribution. Sheppard took a selfish moment to rest between the velveted sky and sand to determine the best path before him but it gave few clues of safe passage.

Devoid of any signs of civilization, the dying wilderness seemed to be sleeping on its side, holding its dangers away from him but he knew they were there if he moved without caution. Ancient stands of forest that once fingered into the dark terrain beyond were now only desiccated ghosts, skeletonized and swallowed by the advancing desert. Sheppard guessed this was a recent phenomenon considering the closest sun was still allowing the planet to entertain life and a breathable atmosphere. It was a good hiding place if you wanted to deter unexpected guests.

How long he had been walking seemed lost to him now, but his body ached with survival under the dried sweat and dirt as he felt blindly for his canteen. The last ration of water seemed to cut his tongue open in a salted incision as it slipped from its container. The brief wet spray teased him with the idea of renewal, but fell short as he swallowed it down with the painful knowledge that some of his men had died …Just days ago. He had to stop, if only for a moment. Exhaustion was not an option he could afford. Not now. Knowing that his journey had only begun, he opted for self preservation as he eased himself onto his back and considered his options under the alien firmament.

So many stars…their bright points seeming indelible to his eyes, spread out above him and engraved their image in his soul, just like the faces of his men that were now lost. All the men who had died for him clawed at his mind's eye… taunting his conscience with what seemed like a criminal secret; a secret that would reveal him in the end. The loneliness of the image twinkled back at him with the bitter reality of just how alone he was. There would be no reinforcements. For the first time in his memory, winging it gave him little hope. He wasn't even sure if he could reach McKay. If he did, he had no idea what he would find. The night air was seeping into him, cooling his blood and clearing his thoughts as he took stock of his current resources. He checked his pistol and TAC vest. He had a knife and two clips left; two clips he had taken from his fallen friends.

His breathing was now slow and even in the quiet around him as he tried to put together the more personal fragments from days past that had catalyzed his journey. Sheppard wondered if Ronon had made it out. He couldn't think how it could have been possible. They had been surprised and Ronon had been just inside the cave as it caught the full brunt of the explosion. The last few seconds left Sheppard blinded as he was caught by the edge of the blast. The hollow unease in his stomach grew stronger as he remembered Teyla, a second before, broken on the ground nearby and unresponsive to the cries around her. She was the last thing he saw as his vision failed. There was no going back now. Not even in his thoughts. He couldn't doubt his decision to press on. McKay was the only hope he had left and quite possibly his only remaining friend; if he was still alive. The wound on his upper arm throbbed under his sweat soaked bandage as he tightened it then righted himself. Driven by necessity and honor, he slid down from the ridge and into a dry river bed that travelled north. He moved with a steady persistence into the darkness ahead.

_72 hours previous:_

_Rodney had raised cussing to a high art during his time in Atlantis and now the stream of expletives spewed out into the room. It was true that life and death had become the working parameters to which he had become accustomed to functioning within, but he found himself wondering if it was worth it anymore. There was enough to do in the ancient city without having to worry about going off world to help some 'backwater' settlement out of trouble. The matter had been discussed that morning, but only now deemed immediate. He only needed another hour or so to finish his god forsaken task on one of the control consoles, but Carter demanded his presence in the jumper bay now. Frustrated, he gathered his essential tools and stormed toward the armory to get suited up._

_John met him with a nod, fully armed and dressed. Rodney said something unflattering under his breath as he fumbled with his gear. _

"_Come on McKay, won't be that bad. Team player, remember?" John said with a grin. He knew Rodney's fears were numerous and they were inclusive of small children. "Oh, and by the way, no kids."_

"_Don't tease Sheppard. When are these missions ever without a catch, huh? Just make sure we are back by dinner and I won't completely despise you." Rodney retorted with his trademark pissy sneer. _

"_Sorry buddy, it's a sleep over. Be back in the morning. Let's go." John finished as he slapped him on the back, propelling Rodney forward. _

"_Aawww, come on! That's just great!" Rodney's whine made John pause thoughtfully with eyes narrowed. Sheppard changed his tactic. _

"_Now McKay! Time to go. You can deal with me or you can deal with Carter. Your choice." John stated abruptly as he smirked with irritation, knowing the magic string to pull. _

"_Fine, fine. Lead on…" He said, defeated. John walked behind Rodney as he travelled down the hall. Rodney was flailing to reach under the back of his vest to free his shirt tail, bunched up like the rest of him. John smirked momentarily with satisfaction, letting Rodney struggle a little before reaching out and pulling it down to relieve the situation. It was just enough humiliation to keep Rodney quiet for their departure. _

Sheppard's form was obscured by gnarled scrub and boulders as he crouched in a hidden arroyo. The soil was beginning to give up its moisture as he dug down into the pale riverbed, his hand moving rhythmically with a sharp flat stone in search of water. With a few more passes, a murky pool leeched up just deep enough for his palm to capture a drink. After his scanner reported no trace of toxins, his mouth greedily accepted the wet gift. The water tasted bitter; heavy with tannic acid from stratified plant matter but served its purpose. After a few ravenous handfuls, he methodically worked the hole larger with his abraded hands and filled his canteen.

The red sun and its distant blue twin were due to rise within the hour as foretold by the eerie lavender bands that raked the sky. The ambient temperature was increasingly hot but not unbearable yet. He looked at his scanner with anticipation, but once again, bad news prevailed; the reading was weak. The good news spoke to the fact that Rodney's subcutaneous transmitter was still active. The camp was just out of his reach; a long day's walk or so under the distant red giant that enslaved the planet's surface. His skin had already begun to show signs of burning; any exposed area was now red and slightly taught. He felt feverish but chalked it up to fatigue as he closed his eyes for a moment of respite; they were rimmed raw at the edges, chapped by the wind that broke the barrier of his aviators. As he pressed into the bridge of his nose with his finger tips, colors flashed and swayed, leaving him dizzy. He hadn't eaten since he had left Atlantis and as much as he wanted to find Rodney safe and sound, he also wanted to kick his ass for filching his personal allotment of power bars that were so needed now.

The hours he had been on the move blurred like the mirage on the horizon. He now felt every step that had marked his path. His muscles trembled under the simple strain of standing, crying for the need to rest, so he decided to submit but not before a few modifications were made.

Groaning painfully, he removed his vest and over shirt, stripping down to his well worn tee. He pulled it off and with a few well placed cuts from his knife, he converted it into two bandanas to cover his face and head. The air, caught in a rare moment, actually felt soothing on his bare torso. Like his face, bruises and cuts mottled his belly and back, attesting to the intention of his enemy. He lingered in the feeling briefly, then gingerly replaced his remaining clothes as a measure of solar protection. He checked his weapons one more time and moved forward to a nearby rock face. A small riparian cave offered an invitation of respite and after careful examination for uninvited life forms; he crawled in and faced the opening, concealed by the dappled shadows. Sheppard drew his pistol and propped it over his thigh in a defensive measure, warding off any potential threat. Within minutes, encircled by the comfort of the cool stone against his burnt skin, he fell into a light but needed sleep. His dreams captured a snapshot of his life before; a few days past.

The jumper set down in a tight clearing near a small settlement surrounded by russet cliffs and forest. The platinum sun was falling behind the distant mountain range. The planet was essentially a smaller version of an earth like body, temperate in nature and just as lush, but undeveloped.

Sheppard ordered two marines to stay with the ship and appointed two men to accompany his core team. Half way to the camp Sheppard ordered the remaining marines to take point on the trail and wait for instructions. It was a short walk to the center of the camp but Rodney still complained. "You know, you would think that we would at least have curb side parking. Why do we always have to walk so far? After all, we do all these favors and for what? "Rodney grumbled under his breath.

Sheppard smirked un-approvingly sideways at him, as if the sun was in his eyes. "McKay, shut the hell up and behave. These are good people. Besides, if I knew it meant so much to you, I would have called ahead for a cab."He stated sarcastically. Rodney sneered back but remained quiet.

"What? You miss a meal or something McKay?" Ronon snapped, referring to Rodney's exceptionally foul mood.

"Not really. Had a few snacks then a meal. Thanks for asking." He said smugly.

Sheppard stopped suddenly and rapidly felt his side vest pockets. They were empty. "Damn it Rodney! Just when exactly did you swipe my power bars? What have I told you!" He barked, baring his teeth.

"Rodney!" Teyla exclaimed, feeling her pockets and finding them empty as well.

Caught and witnessed, Rodney replied in a child like voice, "I think maybe…3 a.m.? The armory was closer than the mess…" He meekly stepped back. Sheppard shook his head then started to walk again, fuming. Ronon smiled quietly. He enjoyed the bickering as long as it didn't last too long. Perhaps much to everyone's relief, the last hundred meters were travelled in silence.

Teyla pointed ahead. "Colonel, that one there…"

The team strode into a fresh clearing ringed with tents tucked into the cliff side. About a dozen people milled about, tending to various tasks. They moved toward the largest one, draped with a green banner. Sheppard removed his sun glasses and stowed them into his vest. "Ronon, stay out front and keep an eye on things. " Ronon nodded and took up his position at the door frame.

"What happened to 'these are good people'? Don't you trust them? You're being extremely careful for such a routine mission. " Rodney blurted, irritating Sheppard further. Ronon glowered at his comment.

"I do trust them. Wraith potential, remember the meeting…Oh, wait. You were late!" Sheppard mockingly smacked him on the back of the head.

"Hey! I was up all night working…Hello…A little respect here!" Rodney stood like a chastised teenager trying to save face.

"McKay, it's just a tactical thing, and if you piss them off, Ronon and my men can speed our exit." Sheppard said as he leaned his face close to Rodney's, hoping to emphasis his point. "Just deal McKay, and we will be home in no time. Besides, don't you want to check out the cool mystery gadget?" He said with a friendly taunt.

Rodney pursed his lips then confessed, "Um…yeah…but man, this better be good."

"Just follow my lead, ok?" Sheppard said quietly as he clipped his P-90 to his vest.

"Alright, but…" He started.

"McKay!" The Colonel shot back with a bitch-slap of a glare. Rodney threw his hands up with a pout, following Sheppard. Teyla gently prodded his back as they moved inside.

They were greeted by a Vedeenan representative. She was dark skinned with black long hair. Tall and muscular she stood with authority, her stance reflecting her seriousness as she approached Sheppard. "My name is Ti'an. Welcome. Thank you for your assistance Colonel as we greatly appreciate your expertise. Time is short. Please follow me." She waved her hand toward the door and led them out. Ronon trailed behind them, monitoring the area.

As she moved ahead through the settlement, Rodney chimed in, "No introductions? _You're_ expertise? Geesh!!!…Not much for small talk, but… check her out…" He said quietly, pointing at her backside.

"Rodney!" Sheppard whispered with wide eyes, ready to throttle him. Rodney jumped a little into Teyla who reminded him with a stern look that he had best settle down. The path they followed wound through a small pass and into the forest. They walked for ten minutes at a decent clip. Rodney was clearly unhappy, but dared not speak as he would time to time catch Teyla watching him like a tiger watches a small prey animal...

"It is here Colonel, just inside." Ti'an pointed to a cave entrance into the hillside.

Rodney scanned the area, and then announced his findings. "Just FYI, radio communication may be difficult…the cliff face is has a decent dampening effect. Two dozen meters or so."

"People, just to be on the safe side, still keep you com devices on." Sheppard added. He followed Ti'an inside with Rodney and Teyla while Ronon stayed out front.

The cave was moist, stinking of mold and other stagnant odors. There was a non-descript pile of cloth on the ground. "We keep it here in case it is a beacon of some kind. You are correct Dr. McKay, the walls have a dampening property. We have been unable to determine the objects origin but it feels as if it might be familiar to you." Ti'an said as she revealed the object.

"Feels? What do you mean, 'it feels as if ....'?" Rodney asked in a crass and skeptical tone. He knew the Vedeenan people to be 'new age' by his standards which provoked his disdain for such things.

Sheppard saw the public relations disaster coming and cut him off, tactfully interjecting," I think they have a good sense of us through our trading and judging from the looks of it, she might be right…"He said as he kneeled down cautiously.

"Don't touch it Sheppard!" Rodney stammered as he joined him and began to scan it.

"I know, I know… Just checking it out. Looks Ancient. Thoughts?" Sheppard asked softly. He mused to himself that it looked like an angular football; about the same size with slotted metal panels comprised its surface, interlocking but giving no indication of an opening.

"Wow, Yeah, definitely Ancient design. Kind of freaky…strange energy sig… It reads like a…maybe …not sure. I think I am going to need some time with it. Maybe an hour or so…" He looked up at Ti'an for permission with his fingers twitching madly in anticipation.

"That is acceptable, but not much longer. We are new to this outpost and there are many things still unknown to us with the coming of night. We should head back before it gets dark." She said clearly without fear.

Rodney looked at Sheppard as if he had suddenly tasted something awful. "You didn't mention that part!…The whole _danger_ lurking in the woods thing!"

Teyla rolled her eyes and tried to look elsewhere.

"Just focus so we can get back, Ok? And by the way, we _will_ have to stay the night to avoid the coming ion storm. That's enough to worry about." Sheppard was at his end with Rodney's protest.

"Hmm…missed that in the meeting...that would be why there is a… sleep over?" Rodney trailed off with fearful resignation as he snapped his fingers at Sheppard.

Sheppard nodded, holding his tongue. He turned to Ti'an in an effort to diffuse his frustration and grinned politely. "Agreed, we will head back soon." She smiled with acknowledgement and stepped outside to wait. He joined her, leaving Rodney to his reactionary quagmire.

"Ti'an, is there anything… we need to know, I mean, any threats we should be aware of? This is the first we are hearing of this. This outpost is remote and I know the Wraith make it out this way on occasion." He said softly, almost whispering as he looked at her with his head half turned away.

"As far as we know, the Wraith still come into the region, but not to this world. The frequent ion storms are the probable reason. We keep a low presence. We found that object deep in the cave and would hope it is something you can use in trade rather than something that would give us away. The dangers in the forest are another matter. A few of our people have been injured by various small creatures, mostly venomous. They seem to be nocturnal." She was still alarmingly calm for Sheppard's comfort.

"Anyone die?" He asked casually with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, but not since we have been keeping to our tents at night fall. They do not come into the light. The ones of most concern are about the size of your finger and are segmented with dark red stripes. They are silent and quick, attracted to your body chemicals. They seem to prefer males. "

Sheppard nodded in slow motion, slightly freaked out. "Say, can we… keep this just between us?" He asked, his eyes squinting.

"Of course Colonel. I can see that your scientist is rather sensitive."

"Just a bit. Thanks. You have any other… problems we should know about?" He asked while holding his breath.

"No. Nothing of concern to your people. We only frequent this world on occasion for raw materials to supplement our trade endeavors. We plan to only be here for a few more days until the next moon cycle. We have managed quite well. "Ti'an smiled again. " I will visit you in one hour."

The Colonel exhaled slowly as she turned to walk back to camp

___________________________________*Chapter 2

The meager amount of rest Sheppard was able to glean had managed to recharge him enough to continue. Traveling by day over the irradiated alien terrain was dangerous, and although he tried to conserve his energy, he could feel the effects. The ferocious red star had not yet reached its peak, still coming to a slow boil as it gained altitude in the warped ocher sky above. Adding to the imposing sight, a far off binary companion shimmered sapphire blue against the backdrop, creating a strange purple tinge to his shadow.

He still had the benefit of the dry river channel to shelter him, although it was losing its advantage as time passed. He could feel the bruising in his abdomen brought on by his captors, aching with the flex and extension of his moving body. The fact that he escaped had just been pure luck. The fact that he couldn't free Rodney ate at his insides. The unknown assailants had been clever, infiltrating the ranks of the Vendeenans without detection, but how they knew of the Ancient device was still a mystery. As he pressed on into the heat, his mind replayed their ordeal.

_It had been almost beautiful, the walk up the trail. Sheppard walked with relaxed strides, closely observing the surrounding woods. They were warm and fragrant in the late afternoon light, giving off an aroma much like frankincense. He tapped his radio and called to his men on the trail for the 30 min. check in. "Team 2, this is Sheppard, report your status." His head set crackled with static, but no response. Dread smacked into his chest: there was radio interference where there shouldn't be any and the ion storm was still an hour away. "Team two, report." No reply. _

_He tried to check in with the jumper team. "Team one, report your status." Still nothing. He broke into an immediate run in their direction, racing through the fractals of white light that beamed diagonally through the trees like trip wires. His frantic footfalls were silent as his military experience translated to the forest floor. Several hundred yards brought him to the precipice of a dire image. Two marines lay still just off the side of the trail. _

_He crouched down and listened to his surroundings as he pulled out his life signs scanner…the area was clear. He moved over to his young charges and examined them. No wounds were visible, but they were clearly dead. He regretfully took their ammunition and dog tags, then began to run toward the jumper. The sky suddenly broke open with the sound of P-90 fire ricocheting through the valley. He spun around; adrenaline flooding him from the ground up as he sprinted toward the cave. "Teyla! Come in! Anyone on this frequency! Come in!" Static was the only reply. He leapt off the trail into the woods, silently bounding over logs and small gullies like a panther, cutting the distance in half. The gunfire continued to echo as he reached the edge of the encampment, momentarily lurching to a stop. Seeing no movement or evidence of habitation he took off again, speeding toward the cave. _

_Colonel Sheppard shot through the trees breakneck, straining to breathe; his body beginning to go into debt as he reached the cave. He dove down, shielding himself from the gunfire behind a boulder. The area around the cave was overcome with weapons fire and confusion. The repeating discharge from Ronon's gun lit up the nearby canopy in a skittering crimson display above the screaming and smoke. Sheppard could see the cave entrance. Ronon was just inside. Sheppard looked for a work around; Teyla was in trouble, holding off multiple aggressors outside and out of Ronon's reach. He couldn't get a fix on their location through the chaos so he took an instinctive gamble, unleashing his P-90 in the direction of the enemy until the assault stopped. Running for the entrance, with only a few yards to go, his eyes caught Teyla dropping effortlessly to the ground. He heard himself yell out to her just before his vision exploded in a flash of violet; then darkness._

_*****_

The next moment of awareness pulsed with his heartbeat. Sheppard opened his painful eyes and rested them on the oxidized wall in front of him. He was in some kind of storage hold, bound at his ankles and wrists. The tell tale vibration suggested the possibility that they were on a ship of some kind. Rodney lay right next to him, unconscious but breathing steady. He could make out muted voices but nothing discernable. The familiar feel of blood snaking down his tender cheek explained why his head ached. Their TAC vests and weapons were gone. Examining his bonds in the faint artificial light, he noted that they were poorly executed allowing some movement; it would take some work to wriggle free but he remembered another option.

Ronon had passed a few tricks along the way to the Colonel; one of them had been the concealment of sharp objects. The experience of one hive ship too many had won out in convincing him he couldn't be too careful when going off world. He pulled his upper arm tight to his body, pressing in. It was still there; a narrow band of resistance pressing back. He leaned forward and with his knee, scraped the inside of his bicep, releasing a strip of adhesive from his skin. As he gave his arm a steady shake, a thin 2 inch blade fell from his shirt and into his palm. 'Thank you Ronon!' He thought, focusing on his task. Grasping the blade in his fingertips he frayed the bonds just enough to allow freedom on demand but still maintaining the illusion of captivity. He slipped his metal accomplice into the cuff of his pants and checked Rodney again.

He looked unscathed but Sheppard couldn't wake him. He then realized why. There was a small blue bruise surrounding a puncture mark on the inside of Rodney's arm. Sheppard felt for his pulse and found it beating back to him in a steady pace. He still had no idea who they were dealing with, but since there was no immediate escape route he knew he had to play along. He also knew the further they travelled from the outpost, the odds of rescue diminished. They were now MIA and at the immediate mercy of their captors. He kept watch over Rodney while he meticulously studied his surroundings to occupy his mind.

What seemed like hours, ended with the jolt of the small ship landing. Rodney was still unconscious and Sheppard could hear several voices outside the hold. He closed his eyes and went slack, resuming a more convincing position.

They were hauled out and placed at the feet of someone. The tone of voice suggested their enemy was boasting about the catch of the day. He could sense numerous individuals assembled. Sheppard felt a kick to his back and let his body fall forward to hide the pain on his face. After a few shouts in a language that seemed familiar but unclear, he was carried for a few minutes then dropped onto a stone floor; again he held in his pain as his body tried to react. Fading footsteps ended with the metallic sound of a gate latching shut, followed by silence. He opened his eyes to find a dank cell about twice the size of their previous enclosure. It was slightly moist, feeding the humid, stale air that seemed to steal oxygen from his lungs. He noticed Rodney, clad only in a tee shirt and work pants, lying by the gate on some kind of mat. The cell was nearly dark; the only illumination came from a purple banded sky that alluded to dusk, visible from a small barred window far above them.

Sheppard crawled over to his friend and whispered hoarsely," Rodney, can you hear me? It's John. Rodney! Wake up!" He tried to shake him, his hands still cosmetically bound. Nothing. He shook him again but still nothing. Sheppard needed him awake. He thought for a moment, then fell back to another Ronon trick; he poked his finger sharply in his friend's ear. Rodney's eyes popped open with a gasp. It took a few seconds, but soon he noticed Sheppard looking at him, gesturing to him to be quiet. Squinting, he slowly adjusted to the dim light and caught the meaning in Sheppard's eyes as the dire reality of their situation became clear. Rodney froze, his fear now visible but much to his credit, he remained still, waiting for instruction.

"Rodney, are you ok?"Sheppard asked softly. Rodney nodded, appearing stunned. "Glad to hear it buddy. Don't struggle, your hands and feet are bound. You and I were abducted from the camp. Don't know why but we have been on a ship for many hours before we arrived here, where ever here is…. Can't tell who is responsible, but they seem to be human. I need you to try and stay calm and help me figure this out, ok?" Sheppard looked at him firmly but kind. Rodney swallowed tightly, taking in his friend's words.

"Help me…up." Rodney croaked. Sheppard used his shoulder to assist him into a sitting position and as he came up, Rodney caught a clearer glimpse of Sheppard's battered face. "John, what the hell happened to you,… you're… bleeding…You must hurt…" He whispered fearfully. Sheppard deflected his observation, determined to get more information.

"It's ok, nothing serious. Look, I think they took us for a reason. I think it was because of that Ancient device. Do you remember what you found? The readings…you took some readings before the explosion. Remember?" John licked his parched lips in hope. Rodney closed his eyes to think.

"Yeah, I think so…it was so strange at first, but…" Rodney's head hurt and his memory seemed elusive. Sheppard let him ruminate for a moment. "John! It was a code. That device was some kind of storage device. It held a massive code. It was in Ancient…it was ..It was.." He began to breathe harder; his fear escalating.

"It's ok, slow down Rodney. Take your time. I want you to be sure. It's ok." Sheppard kept his voice steady and reassuring, trying to hold back Rodney's fear.

"Ok, …Yeah, I know it was a code. It had something to do with the Wraith. Something to do with their tech…I was on the verge of figuring it out when the explosion came. Oh God... John, what happened to Teyla and Ronon?" Eyes wide, he began to shake.

Regret spilled over Sheppard's face."I don't know. I found two of my men, Cooper and Rivers dead half way on the trail. Don't know what happened to the jumper. I'm not sure what happened to anyone really. The radios weren't working. There were gunshots…I was running toward the cave. An explosion blindsided me. Next thing I knew I awoke on the ship that brought us here. They drugged you Rodney. Look…" Rodney let his eyes wander down to where Sheppard was staring. He could see the needle mark.

"You too?" He asked with a rigid breath.

"Don't think so. But I feel like they smacked the crap out of me. I think they need you. Me, probably not so much…" Sheppard tried to joke, but the idea left them both a little colder. It was clear that Sheppard had been badly beaten. Rodney wondered if he was next.

"What can we do? I don't want to die…" Rodney whispered in an alarming show of honesty.

"Dying is not on the top of my list either. Look…" He showed Rodney the cuts in his bonds.

"How did you…?" Rodney whispered.

"I still have a few tricks. I will be looking for an advantage. If I see one worth taking, surprise will help. Plan B is more up your alley. We make ourselves valuable. I think they need you...maybe to figure out that device. Why they brought me remains to be seen. Whatever happens, we will find a way out. Trust me Rodney. We can do this." Sheppard gave a small smile, imploring him to believe.

*****

The surface temperature was now dangerously high, reaching into his confused mind and triggering his sense of survival to act. He needed water immediately. His vision was distorting as he fought to keep his balance. His lips were blistered and bleeding, cracking at the corners despite the fabric covering his head and face. The skin that had been exposed previously on his body started to peel away, revealing fragile new layers under attack. Sheppard stumbled to a sparse corner of shade in the diminishing river channel and fell hard on his knees. Digging down again, he found that the moisture was much deeper this time, exhausting him as he worked. His fragile hands eventually contacted the cool clay below, soothing him immediately as he plastered it over his damaged skin. A blissful moan escaped him as he sat back and concentrated on the exhilarating sensation, nearly in tears by the extent of the relief he felt. He placed some on his torso and under his arms, helping his body temp to fall. The idea of Hell personified seemed to be his current reality. "Just need a pitchfork…" He mumbled, slightly delirious. He had stopped sweating some time ago and knew he was in trouble.

Sheppard feebly resumed his digging like a drunkard until he found what seemed to be miraculous. A wet belch bubbled up and gave rise to a small well of water. He had hit a meager underground spring, but it was enough. Time blurred around him as he wet down his feverish body then drank the contents of his canteen a few times over. He fell forward, unable to hold himself up any longer. He wanted to surrender. He wanted to give up and fade into the ground beneath him. The thought of being free of the physical plane called to him seductively. His fingers reached for the idea of comfort, slipping into the cool soil until he could press in no further. He clung to the surface as if the turning of the planet would eventually shake him off. He wanted to go home. He wanted release. 'Can't go yet…' He thought, reciting it like a mantra as he blacked out at the edge of the hole.

The odd light gently cut away the black veil over his eyes, one slice at a time. Sheppard awoke wearily, his face, like his body, resting heavy in the riverbed silt. Lying still for hours in the shadows had left him stiff, but kept him from dying. The life sign scanner blinked consistently as it lay near his head; His eyes soon translated the image, prompting him to sit up as he comprehended its urgent meaning. He was just a few kilometers away now from his goal. His fever had backed down and his head was clearer. The suns had traversed the curve of the planet enough to preserve him for the moment, slinking into the molten cauldron of a horizon. He had lost time but gained some strength. He filled his canteen and re-checked his scanner. "I'm on my way buddy." He whispered as he looked north into the evening.


	2. Chapter 3 & 4

______________________________* Chapter 3

It wasn't long before Sheppard and McKay had company. Four guards, all rough looking humans clad in brown leather armor, stood at the cell gate. Heavily armed with a mixture of alien weapons, they remained silent as one walked in and pointed at Rodney. "This one?" He asked the other guards.

"Yes."Came the reply.

Sheppard blocked Rodney with his body. "What do you want?" Sheppard asked, holding himself back from attacking.

The guard automatically aimed his weapon at him."Move away or I will kill you." Sheppard recognized the gun in his hand. He had seen it on various worlds and it had the reputation for a perfect one shot kill. There wasn't really much room for bargaining since the other two guards had their weapons trained on them as well. Sheppard threw out his well practiced charm into the room, hoping to get them to back off.

"I was just asking... Just making sure you got the right one." He said in a friendly tone, holding up his wrists in a show of surrender. He watched them closely, assessing their tactics.

"It's ok John. Let me do this." Rodney whispered stoically. John stared at him, swallowing down the urge to lunge at the guard. Reluctantly, He lowered his eyes and move away. The guard pulled Rodney up with a jerk and yanked him out of the cell. The force of the guard's motion startled Rodney, making him gasp as he looked back at Sheppard with a frantic expression. The guards latched the gate and abruptly dragged him out of view. Sheppard watched them go, then hung his head, trying to decide what to do.

Rodney was brought to a large room and placed in the center. The room was non-descript much like an abandoned warehouse. The guards stood at attention around him as another figure entered the room. A tall, fairly groomed young man with pale features paused before him. Thin, long blond hair was pulled back tight in a pony tail. Rodney wondered if Cavanaugh had an albino brother. He was dressed in finer body armor and carried himself as if he was the leader. He addressed McKay in an odd voice, forceful but monotone. "Where are you from?"He asked, observing the scientist with a spiteful intent.

Rodney blinked, hoping his wit could find an exit."The Pegasus galaxy. How about you?" He could feel himself start to fidget, his right eye flinching half shut.

"Do you understand this language?" The stranger asked, holding a stone tablet out to him. It was engraved with Ancient text. Rodney could feel the man's intrinsic hostility as he approached in a snake like movement. He concentrated on breathing slow, hoping he wouldn't black out.

"Look, I would like to help you, but I need to know who you are. What do you want with us?"Rodney's tact was purely motivated by survival. He could feel his heart jumping in his chest. The young man ignored his words.

"People say you are from a great city known as Atlantis. The race associated with that city have not been seen in thousands of years. How have you survived all this time? He looked Rodney coldly in the eyes, waiting on an answer.

Sweat began to pepper Rodney's brow. The man reminded him of a movie he had watched with Ronon and Sheppard a few months back. 'He looks like that vampire…Shit! He looks like..What's his face… That blond Vampire! Of course he does McKay!...Aww crap….Why me?' He jerked back to the question, feverishly thinking of a response..

"Ahh…Survived with technology. Technology, yes! We could share our technology if you let me know who you are and what you want."He replied, feeling grateful his voice did not fail him.

The young man stepped away and whispered something to one of the guards, who then quickly left the room. He turned back to Rodney and pulled a well worn dagger out from his belt. Rodney felt immediately faint as the man drew near. He closed his eyes as the blade raked toward him. There was a quick snapping sound but no pain. He peeked down and saw the bonds on his ankles were cut off. "Come with me." The man said, his voice still cold and unchanged. Fighting his urge to scream, Rodney fearfully followed him down a long hall and into a small lab.

There were a variety of alien devices and monitors, Ancient and Wraith alike. He let his eyes travel the room, amazed at the quantity of tech before him but he stopped breathing when he saw Sheppard on his knees, surrounded by four guards.

"Oh, God…John.!"Rodney cried out. Sheppard looked up at him, grimly. His mouth was dripping with fresh blood. "If you hurt him anymore, I won't help you!"Rodney blurted. The young man remained silent as he came un-unnervingly close and looked Rodney in the eyes again. He pulled his dagger out and strode over to Sheppard who felt contempt pulsing through his body, as the young man approached. Despite the fact that he could be free at any time, Sheppard was still far outnumbered. He stayed outwardly calm, attempting to play his hand out a little further. The young man grabbed a handful of Sheppard's hair and pulled his head back; the dagger came up to his throat. "Is he of Atlantis as well?"He asked, looking defiantly at Rodney.

Rodney put his tethered hands out in desperation. "Don't! You really don't want to hurt him. He can help you more than you know. We both can. Please, what do you want?"

The young man traced Sheppard's jaw with the blade, nicking his skin and then released him… Sheppard glared at him, making a mental note to place him at the top of his ass kicking list. "You are loyal to one another. That is good. I have heard you are a scientist. You must help our brothers. This device is of interest. You will decipher its contents and then we will see if you or your companion lives. You will start now." The young man pulled a small object out of a cloth bag and set in front of Rodney.

Rodney looked at him in disbelief."What do you mean, 'help your brothers…' Do you mean…the Wraith?"

The young man's expression changed at last, but unfortunately is was in the form of a smile. "Of course. Begin now or your companion will be killed before your eyes." All four guards aimed their weapons at Sheppard.

'Wraith worshipers!…Just fucking peachy! Not so off the vampire thing…Lucky me…' Rodney whispered in his head, trying to stave off his fear with sarcasm. Rodney could see Sheppard was on the same page of understanding. He could also see the permission in his friend's eyes, urging him to comply. Rodney held out his hands. "I will need these removed…please…" He mumbled. Before Rodney could blink, his bonds were cut and the imposing blade was making its way back into the sheath. He breathed deep and picked the object up. It was the one found in the cave before the explosion. "I need… an interface of some kind…"He politely asked, hoping to not provoke him. The young man pointed to a small display across the room. Rodney walked stiffly over and connected the two. "I will need time. This is very complicated…"He began, his ego slipping out.

The young man gave a nod and the guard behind Sheppard violently hit him up side his head with his weapon, pitching him forward with a quick spray of blood. Sheppard grudgingly held his own but appeared dazed. Rodney felt his heart pounding. He knew Sheppard was tolerating the abuse to buy him time. Guilt ridden, he turned back to the display and studiously began to sift through the data. Like a bolt of lightning, his memories of his cave time came flooding back to him. The code was Ancient alright, but it held a darker purpose that made Rodney's anxiety increase. He suddenly realized that they had a possible ticket out of their predicament.

Rodney was now covered in a cold sweat, but persisted as he dug in deeper. It was a sequence of code that if entered into any Wraith tech, would corrupt the data core, rendering it useless. But there was more… there was a hidden layer that he almost missed. Almost. The poison in the needle…an insidious sub routine that emitted a subliminal signal. It was nearly undetectable but he recognized the few Ancient hallmarks of deception that he had come to fear and love. Rodney unconsciously paused to take it in…extrapolating the deeper meaning. 'The Ancients didn't play nice now did they? So much to do…So little time…Come to papa my little coded minions...' He thought as he accessed control and direction over the stealth portion of the program. Rodney could feel the pale presence next to him growing impatient. He managed to remain calm as he added a few more McKay touches to make it 'disappear'. Five more key strokes covered his tracks.

"What have you found?"The young man asked sternly.

Blue eyes flashing, Rodney straightened up and mustered his best genius look. " It looks like a tactical weapon to corrupt Wraith tech…but I think it can be modified to be applicable to other alien systems." He lied, hoping he would get the chance to adjust the coding just a bit more.

"Show me."The man demanded. Rodney nodded but snuck a look at Sheppard, still on his knees; He looked ill. Rodney ran a profile of the main code on the screen. "It will need accessing with the proper sequencing and to fully access it you will need an Ancient. That would be him," He pointed at Sheppard, "And someone with the knowledge of Ancient code to do it. That would be me." Rodney rolled his bluff out on the table and waited for the next move.

The young man studied the display, listening to Rodney. He quickly looked to the guards near Sheppard. "We will return them. That one first." He pointed at Sheppard.

"What's happening….Return us where? There is still more to do…You can't…"Rodney stopped himself, seeing the guards wrench Sheppard up and encircle him as they carried him away.

The young man turned back to Rodney, expressionless. "You will access it. Begin the coding sequences. If you do not complete it within the hour, your companion will die."

Rodney knew they would not hesitate to kill his friend and there was nothing John could do, being weak and surrounded by so many. The bluff having failed, Rodney realized the young man was smarter than he looked. He knew he had to find a way to stretch out the game.

The remaining guards lifted their weapons at the frightened scientist. Rodney turned to the console and began to furiously input values as his hands shook. He kept telling himself to breath in and out, then finished every mental phrase with Sheppard's words…"We can do this… "

*****

Nearly an hour had passed as Rodney found himself being pitched into the floor of the cell, crying out as he made contact. The gate latched behind him, leaving an echo to sound out in the ensuing silence.

His hands had been re-bound. The ties cut into him as he pushed himself up and looked around. Sheppard lay in the corner, facing away from him. Rodney scuttled over. "John? John…Are you…"Rodney winced. Sheppard moaned, and then turned slowly on his back. He was conscious, but hurting more than ever, his face no longer bleeding, but swollen and starting to show the extent of his bruising. "God John, why…" Rodney gasped.

"I look worse than I am McKay…Too many guards to blow our cover…We need to get them apart…" John coughed as he sat up with Rodney's help. "You ok?"

Rodney nodded, taken back by Sheppard's appearance. John coughed again then took a moment to breathe. "You did a good job in there. What did you find? What happened?"Rodney moved closer so Sheppard could save his voice.

"That Wraith worshiping nut job kept hovering, but I think I found us a plan B as requested. I need to have a wee bit more more time but I set the base code to my specs…He didn't seem to have a clue…"

"McKay, what do you mean…English please…?"

"Oh, sorry. The code in that device…it is an Ancient trick of sorts…a lure. It looks like a code for a virus. It is a work of art, written so enticingly it would seduce any high level hacker. You can look at it and think, 'clever, but let me shut it down or turn it on you…' so you alter it, maybe hoping to kill it or use it on the 'other guy'. The scary part is, there is an invisible line of programming. And I mean really invisible. Very advanced. It can be activated if you alter the main code in any way and don't know the trap. I know that the Wraith still don't recognize the stealth Ancient code symbols very well…they just see what they have always seen…annoying Ancient code. I would have missed it, but luckily with all the Ancient dumpster diving I have done in Atlantis, I recognized the clues. It activates and sends out a signal that alters brain activity. It changes behavior, reprogramming thought to be whatever you want it to be. It basically enslaves…it is a weapon that can be used on a group or populous. The design suggests it was developed near the end of the war. It might be a prototype, but I can't be sure."Rodney was nearly out of breath as he tried to slow down and let Sheppard respond.

"Mind control?" Sheppard whispered.

"Yeah, creepy, huh?" Sheppard nodded. "It is like a last resort weapon. Really flies in the face of ethics…if you have any. It doesn't seem to be race specific either. I think I can use it against them. Sheppard, they had so many strange things in there…looks like they raided a Pegasus Radio Shack. That lab is a make shift testing ground for whatever they find. I think they are working for profit. I don't think they really understand any of it, or really understand who we are. If they are Wraith worshipers, where are the Wraith? I think it's weird." Rodney looked around nervously, hoping he hadn't been too loud in his excitement.

Sheppard nodded in agreement then became more serious than ever. "McKay, we have to get out of here. They have little reason to keep us alive at this point. I know they are planning to kill me any minuet. I could hear them talking down the hall. They are going to come for me. "

Rodney snapped out of his tech infused rambling, trying to hold the dread back that threatened to spill from his eyes. "John, What can we do…there must be something?" Rodney whispered desperately, fearing he was right.

"Maybe…I have figured out where the exit is, based on their movements. That's the good news. The bad news is judging from our little window above us, this planet is a real bitch. A hot, radiation drenched bitch. It has two nasty suns. We could have a tough time. We will need a ride off this pop stand. Anything you saw that might get a signal back home or any indication of a gate?"

"Transmitter maybe with a lot of work, but nothing yet to indicate a gate, at least on the surface. I saw our gear…On the way from the lab. It was in a pile on a table…Don't think they have much use for it."

"Good, that's on the way to the exit. What do you need?"

"If I could have one more pass at the code, I could activate it, stopping them."

"Wouldn't it mess with us?"

"Not if I program it to recognize our subcutaneous transmitters as a relay to receive a different set of instructions…Like 'not these guys'. He smiled, helping Sheppard feel a little lighter for a second.

"You can do that?"Sheppard asked, sounding skeptical.

"Watch me! I just need a few more minutes."He managed a small smile again. Sheppard hung his head for a few seconds, fighting a hidden pain.

"John, what is it?" Rodney touched his arm.

"Broken rib maybe. I'm alright." He took a few deep breaths then refocused. "Rodney, I don't know how yet, but I will try to buy you the time you need. Whatever I do, just go with it, Ok?"

"Sheppard, don't go getting heroic and sacrificing..."Sheppard shook his head, trying to deny that was his motivation.

"Rodney, trust me. I will get you out of this. Just follow my lead. Take this…" He slipped the little blade out from his pant cuff and placed it into Rodney's. Rodney watched him with fear and bewilderment, knowing that so many things could go wrong and chances are they would. But he reminded himself that he was with John Sheppard, and that alone could even the odds.

"Alright, John. I will activate the code if I get the chance. If I can get to a transmitter, I will send for help. What about you?"

Sheppard took another long deep breath. "I don't think there are more than seven, maybe eight soldiers here. If I can get loose and to my weapons, I think I can take them but not all at once. Remember, no matter what happens, I will …" Sheppard stopped on a dime, looking at the hallway.

The guards appeared at the gate with the young man. "Take him." He said, pointing at Sheppard.

"John!"Rodney whispered, frantic as he felt what was coming.

Three guards entered the cell. Weapons once again found their aim and they motioned to Rodney. "Move away!"One of the men yelled as he threatened to fire. John calmly met Rodney's eyes, intentionally blinking once to let him know it was alright. He wanted to believe John would fight back or make some kind of move, but he looked so weak Rodney found it hard to believe he stood a chance. He was still outnumbered and overpowered. The guards brought him out and stopped at the entrance of the hall. One of them knocked his gun across Sheppard's face, appearing to stun him as he fell off his own feet. The young man looked sardonically at Rodney as he jumped, obviously pained by his suffering friend.

"You will come with us to our larger facility. There, you will complete your task." The pale figure said without emotion.

"Where is this… 'Facility'?"Rodney asked, hoping John would hear.

"It is north of here on the equator. You will complete your task or you will die. If you please us, we will find other projects for you. We might even let you go."

Rodney could feel the distain smirking over his own face. 'Screw that!' He thought. It was clear to him that the young man was lying about setting him free, but he didn't doubt they would want to mine his talents. At the very least, his basic plan could be fulfilled; he had the time he needed.

"What…what about him? I will need his help!" Rodney asked, his voice crumbling as he pointing to Sheppard with his bound hands.

"He has served his purpose. We have other ways of motivating you." He looked at his men and gave a small hand wave. Sheppard remained limp and silent, half conscious as he was drug away. Hanging from the arms of the guards, a thin blood trail marked his journey; his face now freely bleeding from his mouth and nose. Within seconds, he was gone from Rodney's sight.

'Damn it! John has to do something now! He's out of time!' He thought, panic swallowing him whole. The young man waved his hand again and Rodney was forced from the cell, down the opposite direction. He tried to look back but the guard shoved his gun between his shoulders, pushing him forward. Each step he took away from his friend felt like a second hand ticking away on a watch face, counting out his terror. Rodney flinched with heartbreak, devastated as he suddenly heard Sheppard's voice cry out, painfully broken and quick, followed by the sound of one high pitched shot from an alien weapon. No one looked back.

Rodney numbly wiped his face, trying to believe that Sheppard was right. He would find a way out. Somehow.

_

____________________________*Chapter 4

Rodney was pushed forward, stumbling off the small terrestrial transport and into the sterile cargo bay. Three guards escorted him though an access tunnel and into another cell, this time with a sleeping pad and a blanket. Before he could protest, the door latched and they were gone. The cell was devoid of any true windows save for the familiar barred hole above to the sky. He felt dizzy, weak from fear and hunger. Distraught, he sat down on the mat and quietly rocked back and forth in the silence, attempting to ease his anxiety.

He didn't want to think. His mind no longer felt like a refuge. Instead, it held the graphic moments of the last few days. He rested his head on his knees as he thought about John. After all these years, he felt like an older brother to Rodney, always there if he needed him, but the one who always got all the fringe benefits…He had grown used to the safe feeling of having Sheppard nearby. He was the only person who truly tolerated and maybe even liked him. Rodney whole heartedly wanted to believe that John had found a way to escape, but given what he had heard, his heart felt sick.

Looking up at the hint of the sky above, he remembered what John had said about the nature of the planet. The tandem suns had not completely risen yet but he could still feel the hazardous potential as the heat found its way in. Rodney knew that even if John had made it out, there was nowhere to go. He felt lost and Atlantis seemed like a distant dream. He knew he had to get to that device and find a way to end this.

It was not long before Rodney was brought before the ghostly young man again. The lab was more organized but still filled by numerous dead and dying objects from around the galaxy. Rodney noted several possible data devices and transceivers but nothing immediate that would allow for communication. He was led to a modest console with a beat up Wraith data interface, much like a fleshy 1980's Apple computer. He mused if this was the original design, being so organic in nature. The tech was crude but it would accommodate him. Two guards positioned him. His hands were cut free while one leg was shackled to a nearby post.

The young man glided up to him, looking less like a human being and more like a malevolent specter. "You may begin. I will wait. You may start with that object there…" He stated flatly.

His blood sugar nearly non-existent, Rodney felt anger rush into his chest. "You want me to work on that?" He said tersely, pointing to a burnt out component of unknown origin. "I thought you wanted me to complete my original task?" Rodney began tapping his foot in a conceit laced rhythm.

"Your original task is to do as I tell you. Are you incompetent? Should I kill you now?" The young man hissed in a lower voice, his hand moving to his dagger.

Rodney smirked. "You could kill me, yeah, then I would be out of this mess and you would still be trying to get this crap working. If you let me finish what I was doing, you might actually make a profit." He sniped, sneering at the pale man with distaste.

The young man smiled, adding to Rodney's resistance. "I can still make a profit. I have the great scientist from Atlantis…Many worlds would pay for your services. That is, if you are alive." Rodney swallowed tight. "You say you want to finish your task. I appreciate your commitment. It is too bad that your friend did not share it."

Rodney blinked quickly, giving away his concern. "What do you mean?"

"He was not as formidable as we had heard. Many worlds have spoken of John Sheppard. Many worlds have wanted retribution. Although he endured intensive physical punishment upon his capture, he did at last succumb. His body will sell for a higher price than if we had kept him alive. He is wanted as a trophy on a particular Wraith world. They were the highest bidders. I am sure he is on his way as we speak to our trading partners. His body, I mean. I hear it will be divided up and displayed in the four corners of the Queens hall. You are welcome to share his fate. But I think you would rather have the chance to be set free. In time." The young man watched him closely, waiting for his reaction.

Rodney let his head fall, his anger swelling up and pushing tears to the corners of his eyes. He was horrified. 'You repulsive bastard! ' He whispered under his breath. He couldn't think of John like that. He just couldn't imagine it. He tried to picture him, just down the hall, working out their escape. As he breathed in, a quiet sob caught in his throat as he turned to the young man with a new resolution of defiance.

"Cut the crap. Kill me or let me finish what I started. Take it or leave it." He forced through his teeth. The young man laughed, sending a chill down Rodney's spine.

"You are as arrogant as they say! At least you don't disappoint like your friend! I like you. You will do as I say. You will be allowed to finish what you started. If it works, I will expect you to continue to repair the remaining items. Once I have what I need, we will discuss what comes next. Be warned, I will slit your throat without hesitation if you disappoint." He pulled out his dagger and pointed to the component Rodney had rejected. "You will see what can be done with this one first. Begin."

Rodney's anger began to crest. "No! I will not. Go to hell!" He said bluntly, folding his arms across his chest.

The young man smiled again. "I have been too easy on you. I believe we will remedy that." With a wave of his hand, a guard approached Rodney and back handed him, knocking him down. Stunned, Rodney felt his face in shock, noting that his lip was bleeding.

He looked up, engulfed in his rage."Are you deaf! Fix it yourself you vampiric bastard!" Rodney was furious.

The guard approached him again and began to kick him repeatedly in the back. Rodney curled up and closed his eyes as he put his hands up toward his head. Small cries escaped him with each blow until the attack stopped. The young man spoke. "Take him back. Let him think about his situation. If he survives the night, then perhaps he will be more willing. "Rodney remained quiet, his body disassociated from his mind; adrenaline still blocking out his pain. Two guards unshackled him and took him away; leaving the eerie young man to look over the assorted items on the table, thoughtfully deciding which ones he wanted to be operational.

Rodney was thrown back into the dark and filthy cell. He crawled over to a corner, away from the door. He began to wonder if he really should comply, but he knew it really didn't matter if Sheppard was dead. That meant he really was lost and alone. He couldn't figure how Atlantis could possibly know of his whereabouts. 'I have to choose. I have to do something. Anything to stop this. John, help me... What would you do? You can't be gone…This can't be happening, but it is…Why did I think I could just say no…Because you're an arrogant son of a bitch, remember?' His thoughts swirled in his head, growing with pain as he revisited each one, feeling more and more hopeless.

His body began to thaw from the protection of his fight or flight response. The pain chewed into him as he felt the damage taking hold. He closed his eyes, trying to find another place to run to but a metallic clank startled him. A small cylinder rolled into his cell and came to a stop in the center. He stared, afraid to move. A moment passed as the canister stared back. He heard faint click and then it moved slightly. Something crawled out; a grey and red segmented creature about the size his index finger. It had long, whip like feelers arching off of the leading end. It scurried toward the dark seam of shadow that engulfed Rodney. Rodney shot up and screamed, but no sound came. He leapt over it the best he could, coming to rest in the beam of light from the opening above him. He held his breath, scanning the line of light and dark that separated them as if it was his only line of defense. He could hear it making a low, wet sound like someone smacking their lips. He had heard that sound one place before. 'Oh God, holy crap!...That sound!…The danger in the forest…Ti'an…She said something…Be back before dark…Why?..Oh No!"

It dawned on him his only option was to keep to the light, as the creature seemed reluctant to venture toward it. He had light now, but he didn't know how long it would remain. He dared not look up and avert his eyes. Instead he stayed perfectly still, watching feverishly for a trespass in his direction. He watched for hours as he moved with the ever changing angle of the solar illumination. It was all that mattered.

*****

Hours had come and gone, unnoticed as he stared out into the surrounding room; his manic thoughts had ceased in his survival state of being. Hyper vigilance now powered his mind, fearing every minor sound. The groan of the gate unlatching behind him made him bolt up from a squat. As the guards stepped in, he spun around and stared, almost grateful. They grabbed him and brought him to the door. Trembling under a film of cold sweat, he said nothing as they led him out to the lab.

Rodney felt the terror bleeding out from his feet, at last freeing his mind. The young man stood near a work station, holding the burned out component from their previous conversation. "Are you ready?"He said coldly.

Rodney numbly replied. " Yes, but I need…I need to eat…I can't do complex calculations without food…" He whispered, feeling wrung out like a wet rag. The young man pointed to the console. A large plate filled with various proteins and fruits rested next to the monitor.

"Please, eat and then begin." The guards shackled him once more by the leg and freed his hands. Rodney didn't question the selection before him. Instead, he wolfed down as much as possible, savoring the feeling of glucose being uploaded to his brain. His anger was still simmering within but he used it to fuel his purpose. He kept quiet and worked on the component for an hour until he was able to free up the information held within. The young man seemed satisfied. He walked to a metal cabinet and unlocked it using a few touches on some kind of entry pad. He pulled out the Ancient object and set it before him. "Begin." He walked a few feet away and stood quietly, glaring at him.

Rodney took a deep breath and tried not to let his hands shake as he picked up the Ancient device. 'Show time…'He thought, hiding his intention behind his trauma. He connected the module to the interface and found the last few threads of code. Rodney carefully programmed the sequences to block himself via his subcutaneous transmitter. Once completed, he finished writing the directive for the stealth code. As he set the command, he could feel the vengeance in his fingertips as they flashed over the input console. He attempted to set the range but realized there was a problem. He would be limited to a dozen meters due to the shielding of the room. He set it to the widest and most powerful band, hoping for the best. The hard part would be to get the guards into or near the room. The other catch was how to know just how many there were in the complex. He struggled for a moment to establish his parameters, but then his epiphany came. He furiously transferred his objective into Ancient code, sealing the program.

A few last tweaks on the main program took just a moment. Rodney wanted to smile with satisfaction but it was too dangerous for his pride to come out and play yet. This was his only chance. With one last value, he initialized a countdown, backed by a 48 digit pass code. 'Good luck cracking this code, asshole!' He screamed in his head. Pursing his lips, Rodney looked placidly at the young man. "It is done. I can show you."

The young man walked over, observing the monitor. "You finished quickly. Why?" He looked right through Rodney. Suspicion tainted his question.

"Because I am _that_ good." Rodney gloated." Besides, now I can focus on all this…other stuff. You make your profit and I go home." He tried to be as convincing as possible as he unassumingly looked around at the myriad of alien toys, hoping for something to cause a distraction. One component in particular caught his eye. It was a Wraith alarm module, encased by dried remnants of bio tissue. He picked it up, blocking out his disgust as he casually inspected it. 'Oh, look! There is a God!' He thought, slightly giddy. Rodney was keeping track of the countdown in his head as he fingered for the activation switch.

The young man looked him up and down. "We will run a test. If you are correct, I will consider letting you continue. If you are not, you will die. We will start tomorrow." The young man said, watching him play with the small device. "We will test it on something in here…but not now. Shut it down." He motioned to the guard, who stepped closer, raising his weapon.

Rodney allowed himself to look into the young man's eyes. He thought it frightening that his irises seemed to be transparent, without any trace of color or emotion. Rodney realized that he felt no remorse for what he was about to unleash, given the cruelty the young man embraced. He thought of John as his thumb found the switch. "Ok, I just need to…"Rodney began as he set the alarm down, counting the last few digits in his head.

Seeming to shear the room in half, the alarm blared out in a deafening pulse. He could barely hear the young man yelling as he moved to him, dagger drawn. The guards were squeezing the triggers on their guns as the stealth program activated.

Rodney dove under the table just in time; his tethered leg catching him and yanking him abruptly to the ground. The guard's weapons dropped down around him, scattering near his face. The alarm was overwhelming in the small space, making him jam his hands tight over his ears for fear his head would split open. Realizing he wasn't dead, he turned over as much as he could to see the young man and the guards walking out of the room. It had worked, but he wondered for how long. With panicky hands, he reached to his pant cuff and retrieved the blade Sheppard had given him. He cut off the leather like strap holding his leg and stood up searching for the alarm. Rodney quickly smashed it under his foot. After a second or two to regain his hearing, he picked up what looked like a stunner and checked the hall. He saw a line of men, including the young man, slowly walking away toward the holding cell. 'Holy crap Batman! I did it!' He whispered. Rodney nervously followed, stunner aimed and ready.


	3. Chapter 5 & 6

____________________________________*Chapter 5

Now that the torrid suns had burned themselves away, leaving only the starlight to glisten in the tepid air, Sheppard at last located his objective. A large crater born savanna sprawled below the cliff he rested upon. A tiny light shone in the center like a jewel in a crown. He couldn't see a ship, but the complex was small; two entrances and not much in between. He suspected it ran underground. Moving gently with deliberate concentration, he folded himself into the shadows of the cliffs that crumbled down to the open plain. His black uniform made him invisible as he moved against the jet colored stone for the next hour.

He thought it ironic that he had escaped only to return to potential imprisonment. He laughed to himself, 'I must really, really like McKay….Who knew? McKay…Maybe my best friend ever. That's funny. Only because you let him be…Shut up John! You have had a lot of friends, just never let them know it…Yeah, John Sheppard…The big disappointment…Family…Air force…Isn't that what everyone thinks? No…Not this time…I'm gonna find him…I'll get him home.' His mind skipped, going back to his escape…

_He waited until he could see the exit ahead, open and waiting for the disposal of his corpse. Just before the door, John let his body fall a bit further in their arms, feigning unconsciousness. They let him slip, preparing to drop him before they dragged him out to be shot. Allowing gravity to aid him, his right arm fell heavy to the floor, breaking his bonds and pulling them off balance, freeing a second concealed, much larger blade to land in his palm. He used the momentum of falling to roll, grabbing the guard who still held him into the path of the other two, blocking them. John used him as a shield as he dispatched him with a swift puncture to the neck then threw the blade diagonally to take down another. John, still nearly horizontal, kicked his leg out in an arc, knocking the last guard down. Having dropped his gun, he drew a knife and stabbed Sheppard in his upper arm as he fell. Sheppard screamed abruptly from pain as he pulled a pistol off the hip of the soldier shielding him and in a single shot eliminated the last threat. _

_Sheppard lay there, looking up at the ceiling as his adrenaline injected heart shook him against the dead men lying over and around him. He was momentarily exhausted, having given more than he had. He focused on feeling his fingers as he breathed to regain his focus. It was painful._

_Sheppard reached over to his opposite arm and quickly pulled out the knife that stuck out from his bone. He fought a scream as it slipped free. Extracting himself from the tangle of carnage, he sat up and listened to see if the hall was clear. Sensing momentary safety, he grabbed the closest gun and crept up the hall holding his arm; it was just as Rodney had described. Sheppard snuck into the small room housing his equipment and jumped for his scanner. It indicated the building was empty. They had gone. _

_He scavenged an old field dressing from Rodney's vest and bandaged his bloody arm, wincing repeatedly as he felt the added pressure. The wound was deep, damaging the underlying muscle and cracking the bone. Nausea threatened as he threw on his TAC vest and gathered his pistol with two spare clips. His C-4 was missing along with his sub-machine gun and com device._

_A last pass of the room yielded his knife as well as a full canteen left from one of the guards. Seeing nothing else of value, he scanned for anything that would read as a ship or transport. Nothing. Running to the lab, he tried to open the door but was stopped by an unknown locking system. He tried all the other rooms, coming up empty. The signal on his scanner was getting fainter. He had to move, even if it was on foot. "Shit! Gotta do this the hard way! What a surprise John!" He yelled into the empty corridor as he awkwardly ran to the exit, escaping outside. _

His foot slipped, jolting his thoughts back to the moment. The motion pitched him sideways against the cliff, slamming his wounded arm into the rock face. 'Arrrghh! Crap! Pay attention! Don't screw this up John!' He berated himself. He watched his feet move, one after another in the dim starlight. "Ok, go slow…like a mine field…Ok, maybe not the best image, but slow and steady…You know how to do this….Easy now….Bend your damn knees….' His body was shaky and weak, nearly failing if he moved too fast; his strength consumed, he functioned only on determination.

His thoughts continued to plague him as he moved on, revealing his perceived short comings and faults. It was a conditioned program that he would fall back to when he would need motivation, but this time his thoughts seemed to bind his being with a plea. He needed some sort of absolution. His usual ability to compartmentalize his feelings had dissipated like his strength. He was now more open to the truth of his identity than he wanted to face. He felt the weight of everyone who had suffered or had been lost by his actions. 'If I don't make it, then this will stop. I won't hurt anyone…' He thought. His foot slipped again, twisting to the side. 'Damn it! Focus!' His anger yelled out in his mind. 'On my honor McKay, I will find you! I have to…This has to be worth something…I need it to be worth something…'

The cliff face eventually disappeared into the sand, leaving him to cross a short clearing without cover. It was in view of the guard posts, so he eased down onto his stomach and began to crawl, keeping his movement barely perceptible. His belly was tender but the sensation of being horizontal in his depleted state eased the burden he felt. He stopped twice to catch his breath, resting his head in his arms. He imagined a 'finish line' just ahead as he advanced silently.

Taking cover in a stray pile of rock, he blended in as he surveyed the structure for openings and traps. There was a lone guard on the side entrance but getting there would require traveling out into the light of the yard. Shooting the guard would be loud. He looked toward the front to see two guards and the same dilemma. He crawled painfully slow in the rim of darkness surrounding the base to the back. There were no guards or light, just a rocky pile of debris to traverse. He kept crawling until he made it to the rocks, fading into them one more time. His breath was ragged with his physical angst but he kept it stifled to remain as quiet as possible. His efforts brought him to a small vent that led into the building, obscured by manageable small boulders. A few moments of Zen like concentration and the last of the sweat he had left granted him access. His knife took care of the rest as he popped the fasteners off and removed the metal panel. A rush of cool air pushed past him, giving him an unexpected shiver of relief. His scanner confirmed his hope. McKay was inside. He removed his bandana and drank the last of his canteen as he centered himself, taking one last look at the coal black sky. 'I can do this…I will find him. Nothing will stop me…I will get us home.'

He tried to imagine he was seeing the sky over Atlantis as he stood out on the control room balcony. He pictured Elizabeth standing calmly with him in the salty ocean air as they took in the wondrous view. Sheppard smiled into the memory. He missed that. He missed her. Like many things, that moment was now long lost to time. Determined to ignore the profound pain that racked him, he held tight to the simple image as he slipped into the gauntlet ahead.

*****

Rodney fumbled with the lock, shaking as he fastened it. His fear kept looking for the small creature he knew was still lurking in the shadows. The dank cell before him now held the young man and his company of guards, eight in all. They stood like empty vessels, their eyes vacant like the walking dead awaiting instruction. Confident the lock was secure, Rodney limped back toward the lab, his body aching from his encounter with the young man's personal assistant.

The pile of random items held small bits of possibility but creating a transmitter out of the junk before him would take hours without the guarantee it would work. He rummaged around until he was satisfied that was the only plausible scenario.

He began to gather a few components when he heard weapons fire down the hall. He grabbed his stunner and crouched low, moving toward the door, his heart pounding. 'God! There must be more…But how many? I'm screwed! What now?' He thought, aiming his stunner at the door frame but the hall outside fell silent once again. Rodney crept out, moving like a tortoise as he attempted to determine his situation.

As he reached the corridor to the cargo bay, two guards charged him, knocking him down. His stunner fell away as he landed on his back, hitting his head. Rodney looked up in time to see the guards. They smiled as they took aim with their guns. He had no escape. Dazed, he instinctively covered his face as the weapons discharged in a deafening burst. The pain was instantaneous, crushing the air out of his lungs, leaving him to gasp. Light flickered behind his eye lids, pulsing with his heart beat. He wondered how fast death would come. The warm trickle of blood spread out over his chest. 'This is it…I'm dying…Alone and…' He opened his eyes to see the two mercenary guards lying on top of him, crushing him with their weight. Rodney was alive. "What the?" He mouthed, looking around.

Sheppard staggered slowly up the hall holding two guns, looking like a frail but deranged 'Mad Max'. His shocking black hair framed his bloody and bruised face still on the hunt with retribution. It was streaked by the pale clay from the riverbed, suggesting war paint. His once black uniform was disheveled and stained with grey bands of salt from his sweat that mixed with old blood and dust. Almost without a sound, he came to Rodney's side and knelt down.

"Hey buddy." He managed with barely a whisper.

Rodney stared in shock."Sheppard? How? You are so not dead! I knew it! Thank God! Wow!...You look like shit!" He squeaked out despite the lack of air. Sheppard began to pull the bodies off of Rodney, who kept staring as if he was a ghost.

"Thanks…missed you too." He said, smiling back at him with his gaunt face. Clear of the weight, Rodney got to his feet just in time to catch Sheppard as his legs gave out.

"Whoa! John, easy. Lean back." He propped him against the doorway. "John, you look like death warmed…How did you…?"He whispered, holding his friend by the shoulders and assessing his condition. Sheppard was breathing fast, his chest rising and falling awkwardly. It took a moment to register how he had arrived at the facility. "You walked! Out on the surface! Holy crap! The temperatures alone…Talk about dangerous! Do you know how far that is?" He said, admonishing him.

Sheppard weakly rolled his eyes at him, swallowing tight. " Intimately. Pretty damn far. Stupid, huh?" He coughed as he grabbed Rodney's arm."Are you hit?" He asked, pointing to the blood on Rodney's shirt.

Rodney fingered apprehensively around the stain. "No, thanks to you!" Rodney was shaken but relieved.

Sheppard swallowed hard again. "McKay, we have to move soon. There may still be guards…I just took out two more before I got to you. Saw three outside. Is there a ship?"

Rodney tried to assess how bad Sheppard was hurt as he replied. "Not that I know of. There may still be a terrestrial transport. I think they use it to go through a surface gate."

Sheppard closed his eyes, still breathing hard. He held his chest for a moment. "Rodney…got any water…or food?" His voice flickered in and out.

"Hold on. I will be right back." He scuttled into the lab then returned with a canister of water and shreds of something that looked like fruit and cured meat. "Here, this will help." He said placing it in Sheppard's raw hands. Rodney sat back and guarded the hall as his friend quickly consumed his offering.

Sheppard let out a groan of relief."Awwh…Yeah…Thanks…Needed that." He focused on Rodney and reached out his hand to him. "Did they hurt you?" He asked protectively.

" A little, but…I am ok." He said, looking down with guilt, knowing Sheppard had endured a far more intense ordeal. Sheppard noticed the bruising just starting to show on Rodney's lip.

"Where are they?" Sheppard asked, looking a bit more present from his food and water ration.

Rodney smiled. "Captive, courtesy of our plan B. It worked! For the most part any way. I was able to get most of them caught in the signal. They are in a holding cell. I commanded them to believe that place was home. Just like Dorothy. They won't want to leave." He grinned proudly.

Sheppard closed his eyes again but continued to talk. "The leader…Is he still alive? His men. How many? Are they still a threat?"

"I don't know. They number eight or so save for the extraneous guards here or there. At least they are locked up. I don't really want to go back there." Rodney's nervousness manifested as he played with his hands.

"Why?" Sheppard pressed, seeing that Rodney was getting fearful.

"They set loose a bug of some kind hoping to convince me to help them. It is still running around. Scary little bastard. Kind of dull with creepy little red stripes. I was able to keep it away from me. You would have freaked too, trust me!"

"Sheppard looked at Rodney with more intent. "Red stripes?"

"Yeah, does that mean something?"

"You could say that. It's deadly." Sheppard grimaced.

"Deadly?...How deadly exactly?" Rodney's eyes widened.

"Deadly as in dead. Quick and silent."

Rodney nodded, afraid to talk about it anymore.

"What about the device?" Sheppard asked, leaning harder against the wall behind him.

"It is still in the lab. We should destroy it."Rodney said without hesitation.

"You don't think it could be of use?"

"Considering my luck using Ancient weapons tech, no. I don't want that kind of responsibility. Even though I got it to work… It could be used on anyone. I hate to admit it, but it is too much power for anyone. I still have some ethics."

"Agreed." Sheppard changed the subject. "Can you tell where the transport is? We need to find the gate. I don't know if re-enforcements are coming. We may not have much time."

"Yeah, in the cargo bay just down this hall. Can you walk?" Rodney asked, helping Sheppard up.

"Yeah, think so…which way?"He asked, straining to balance himself. Rodney looked at him like he was a drunk who wanted to drive.

"This way, but we go side by side, and we go slowly, ok?" Rodney replied as he pointed down the hall.

Sheppard nodded as he changed the clip on his gun. "Yeah."

"We just have to make a quick stop at the lab." Rodney saw that he could stand, but was still unsteady. He put his hand under Sheppard's upper arm, giving him support.

"Easy, watch the bandage." Sheppard warned as Rodney assisted him.

Rodney could see it under his shirt. It had bled quite a bit despite being triaged. He was amazed Sheppard had made it so far."John, you're a crazy son of a bitch."

Sheppard grinned and took a deep breath in. "Let's go." He patted Rodney on the back once, feeling grateful for his help.

They wandered up the corridor and Sheppard propped himself in the doorway as Rodney found and shot the Ancient device with a laser weapon, leaving only a small black smudge. Sheppard noticed a locked cabinet. "Rodney, what's in there?" He asked, pointing.

"I don't know. Want to find out?" He asked, intrigued.

"Yeah." Sheppard drew his pistol and fired one shot, cleanly splitting the lock open.

Rodney jumped back but stumbled forward by the sight of the cabinet contents. "Wow…check it out!" Rodney said with excitement. There was a dearth of small weapons and com devices. "Hey, you're P-90! And my data pad! My pistol…Our headsets!" Rodney snatched them out and handed Sheppard his gun and radio. Rodney felt to the back of the compartment, his fingers falling over a pile of small chain. He quietly picked it up and placed it into Sheppard's hand. Sheppard glanced at the bundle of dog tags and placed them in his vest without saying a word. Still rummaging, Rodney picked up a large canister and shook it. "What's this?"

Sheppard grabbed it from him and held it to his ear. He could hear faint clicking sounds."I think I found a gift for our friends in the holding cell." Sheppard's eyes darkened.

Rodney flinched. "Shit! Is that..?"

"Yeah, Sounds like more than one." Sheppard replied with a wince, holding the container away from his body. "Oh, grab my C-4, in the back. We might need that too."He added. Rodney obliged, handing the explosive to him then backed away, staring at the canister. "Do they really know who we are and where we are from?"Sheppard asked, his voice tinged with caution .

"Yes. We're famous apparently. They had a bounty on you. They wanted to prostitute me. I don't think they have relayed any information yet. Maybe."

Sheppard nodded. "We have to keep it that way. McKay. Where is the holding cell?"

"That way…a few yards down."He pointed weakly, dreading what was to follow.

"Time to settle our debts. I'll be right back." Sheppard somberly disappeared momentarily. Rodney heard a single gunshot, and then saw him return without the container.

"Let's go." He said, still walking unsteady.

"The leader?"Rodney whispered, unnerved by what he had just witnessed.

"He won't be sending any messages." Sheppard said in a low and menacing tone. He pointed toward the cargo bay. Rodney stayed close and kept quiet as they walked away.

*****

The cargo bay was empty. "Crap! We need a damn ship!" Sheppard cussed out, waving his arms at the vacant space before him. "The transport! Where is it?" He held his head in frustration.

Rodney stammered. " I don't know John. They used it when they brought me here. Wait…hold on!" He ran over to a console. "Hey, I found a data terminal for the base." He skimmed through the readings on the screen. "John! There is a gate! It has a DHD there." Rodney continued to read on. "Oh, no…It is…This is bad."

"What!" Sheppard snapped.

"It's more than a day's walk, maybe two…still north of here. We are so screwed! Oh great! It gets worse…"

"McKay!"

"I detect reinforcements…Maybe a dozen or more, about an hour away coming from the south. Same sig as these goons."

"What about our com devices?"Sheppard asked, feeling the urgency to get moving.

"Too much interference from that big old ball of a sunny fun outside. They weren't designed for that kind of exposure. Neither are we."

"Then we have to walk. " Sheppard said, giving Rodney a haggard look.

"I just said that we are not designed for what lies outside! They might come after us…and it is so hot…" Rodney's voice was cut off as the outside door broke in followed by gunfire. Rodney dropped as Sheppard caught two guards in mid run, throwing them back across the bay with a spray from his P-90.

"Rodney!" Sheppard bent down. "Rodney, your hit. Can you turn over?" Rodney barely registered what Sheppard had said. He turned with help, watching John as if he was joking. He wasn't. "Buddy, lift up your shirt, let me see." Rodney's only response was a dopey stare. Sheppard eased his tee shirt up and examined him. "Hold still." He could see a bloody gash, half cauterized in Rodney's side. The blast cut deep into his skin with the accuracy of a laser, leaving an angry wound but spared penetrating his abdomen. "It will hurt, but you were just grazed. Good thing you have a little…insurance. There is some bleeding. Hold your hand here. Put pressure on it. Stay still." He positioned Rodney's hand then weakly strode over to the dead guards and searched them. He gathered a few items, salvaged a long sleeve shirt and began to cut their remaining clothing off in strips. He considered the leather armor but realized it was too heavy for the long distance.

"What are you doing?" Rodney asked, confused.

"We need bandages." His voice was softer, trying to keep Rodney calm. He returned and carefully padded and wrapped Rodney's side, then handed him the shirt and remaining cloth. Wrap your head, face and anything else exposed. You're gonna need it. We have a canteen. It's full. We have to go now. Hang in there and do what I say."

Rodney stared back, scared by the turn of events. "But John, you're so weak, you need to be in an infirmary and…" Rodney still did not register that he had been hurt. He was thinking only of his friend.

"McKay, I can do this. You can do this. There is no other option. We need to go now. It won't be easy. The suns will be up soon and we have to cover as much ground as possible. Nights are short out there, so to make time, we have no choice but to walk by day. We can wait out the worst of it after we get clear of this place and with some luck avoid their recon. Are you with me?" He asked, looking less than convincing as he fought to stand again.

Rodney sat up and feigned agreement. "Ok, we can do this." He tried to feel optimistic as the pain began to come to life in his side but he knew the odds were against them, now more than ever. Even though Sheppard looked like he had died yesterday, he could not give up on him. Sheppard had not given up on him.

"Good. I will get you home Rodney. Trust me. "Sheppard looked down at him with an honesty that made Rodney pause.

"I do John. It is… everything else that I don't trust."He said, returning the feeling.

Sheppard smiled as best as his battered face would allow. "Right there with you buddy." He put his hand out and pulled Rodney up.

___________________________________*Chapter 6

As expected, the sister suns scorched a path above in the orange sky; the red giant held the face of the planet in its grip while the distant blue star looked down like a great eye. They had been moving north slowly, walking and resting as they followed the shelter of shallow river gorges that tracked toward an ultraviolet horizon, and hopefully, a gate. There had been no sign that they had been pursued. Sheppard led McKay into a small sheltered spot and began to dig. "Thank God! We're stopping!" Rodney said, nearly falling down in surrender on his hands and knees. His makeshift tan bandana sat crooked on his head like a beret as he landed. "What are you doing?" Rodney asked, flushed red and damp head to toe.

"We need to cool down. At last, I found what I was looking for." Sheppard's voice was coarse and whispery as he spoke. He stayed focused on digging although, slow.

"I'm fine. But cool down with what?" For once, Rodney tried not to be needy. He did however feel disoriented. He wondered why he saw colors shimmering around his friend.

"You're not fine and you are gonna use this." Sheppard replied, holding up a smear of wet chalky clay. "Come here." Sheppard looked at him with seriousness.

"You're kidding, right?" Rodney's eyes balked as he looked at the pasty goo.

"No. Come here. Or do you want to do the math to figure out how much UV radiation is acceptable versus how much we are being exposed to?" Sheppard's squint intensified.

Rodney looked up and around, grimacing. "Not to mention the other kinds of nasty radiation…"

"McKay! Let's just focus on the one thing we can combat, Ok? Get your ass over here."His sore voice cracked in and out like a static radio channel.

Rodney obediently crawled the few feet and sat in front of Sheppard. "Here, hold still." Sheppard said as if speaking to a ten year old. He began to apply it to Rodney's face, working it over his blistering skin. Rodney squirmed at first, then let out a sigh of relief. "See? Feels good. It will keep the sun off." Sheppard kept painting him.

"I had this mud pack treatment on that kid infested planet. Against my will… Screwed up my skin for weeks." He stated flatly.

Sheppard glanced at him with irritation. "I'm not gonna braid your hair McKay! Relax. Here, put this anywhere you're exposed." He gave a large sticky handful to Rodney. He wrinkled his face as he put it on, annoyed as it clumped to his fingers. Sheppard painted his own face and hands and adjusted his bandanas. "Time to drink. Take your fill, I have enough here to fill up the canteen."He said, pointing to the hand dug hole. He handed the canteen over and watched as Rodney gulped down most of it.

"Eechh…It's gritty and bitter." Rodney did a little flail, acting out his distaste. He looked drugged.

"It's wet and that's all that matters." Sheppard could tell McKay's blood sugar and hydration were pretty low. He was getting more confused and giddy by the hour.

"McKay, how do you feel?" Rodney just stared past him, a small smile on his chalky face. Sheppard shook his shoulder. "Rodney! How do you feel?"

Rodney let his periwinkle eyes wander to Sheppard's. "I don't know…really tired. I hurt. When do we get to sleep? I want to go home…" He looked away again, as if there was something enthralling out in the dunes beyond.

Sheppard felt a little scared as he tried to think what to do next. 'Stay with me buddy…I saved it…Where is it?' He fumbled, looking in the pockets of his TAC vest. He pulled out a modest chunk of cured meat and a small fruit that Rodney had given him back at the lab. "Hey buddy, eat this." He said quietly, holding it up to Rodney's face.

"What? Food?" Rodney grabbed it with his mud covered fingers and stuffed it in his mouth. "Thanks…Sure wish we had more." He said, chewing it down.

"Yeah, me too." Sheppard sighed, afraid to take his eyes off his afflicted friend. He watched until Rodney absent mindedly went back to painting his face. Sheppard pulled out his scanner and held it toward their intended direction. The scanner detected the star gate. "We have a signal McKay. Still a long way off though."

"How long?" Rodney mumbled as he finished his clay mask, looking more like a rag doll, swathed in strips of torn fabric and the red of his cheeks still visible under the porcelain like mask.

"A day maybe. "He let out with another sigh.

Rodney let his eyes rest on his shimmering friend again. "John?"

"What?" He replied quietly.

"My skin. It hurts everywhere."Rodney said with a small voice.

"I know. Some UV is getting through your clothes. The clay will help. Put it anywhere you need it."

He stowed the scanner in his cargo pant pocket and sat back. Sheppard drank a canteen's worth himself; the accidental overflow washed down his angular jaw and throat, exposing small channels of flesh just under a layer of pallid dust. He wiped his mouth carefully and started to dig. After a few minutes of exertion, Sheppard managed to get enough water out of the ground to top off their precious canteen. Feeling a bit more stable, he moved down into the shadow of the slope, groaning as he stretched out on the ground.

"Hey, are you alright John?" Rodney asked, concerned.

"I'm… hanging in there. We need to rest and wait out the suns peak. Things are gonna get really rough for the next couple of hours, so just try to be still." Sheppard sounded weak, unable to say much more as he dozed in and out behind his aviator glasses. Rodney looked out into the expanse of desolation but found it made him anxious. His head ached like the rest of his body making the view blur if he moved too fast. Feeling tired and painful, he joined Sheppard on the ground, resting next to him. After twenty minutes of silence, Sheppard checked in again. "How is your side feeling?" Sheppard whispered.

"It burns. Maybe I will have a scar. Girls like scars, right?" He felt the bandage, tracing it as it ran across his belly.

Sheppard laughed for the first time in days. "Yeah McKay, they dig scars. Among other things…"

"This clay stuff…Is it gonna make me break out?" He looked over at Sheppard, honestly concerned and obviously still disoriented.

Sheppard put his hand over his sun glasses, trying to keep his expression of disbelief to himself. "I really don't think… either of us will be dating any time soon. Just…Just try to rest Rodney. You're doing great."

"We look ridiculous."Rodney whispered, as if it was a secret.

"Yes. Yes we do. But we are alive."Sheppard's voice faded out as he closed his eyes in exhaustion.

"Good point." He muttered as he looked back up at the sky, his eyes sheltered from the suns by the cliff above. Within minutes, he lost track of where he was and passed into a light dream state, snoring away. Sheppard was too tired to notice.

*****

"Rodney, Wake up!" Sheppard jostled him a few times.

"Wha? John? Where…are we?" Rodney peeled his eyes open to see Sheppard backlit by the corroded sky above.

"We're still on this desert hell hole. The scanner picked up something. I think those goons are looking for us. Come on, we gotta go." Sheppard rasped.

Rodney sat up, grabbing his side as it throbbed under his shirt. "I was afraid of that." He held his hand out, allowing Sheppard to help him stand. The effort seemed to wind them both. "What now John?" Rodney asked. He seemed a little more clear headed. He saw that the suns had shifted partially behind a north running ridge, easing down the solar intensity. "It's still so damn hot!" He exclaimed.

Sheppard looked back and nodded. "Yeah, will be for a while. Come on." Sheppard waved him on as he started to carefully follow the streambed.

"If we are going to get to the gate, we are gonna need to make time." Rodney acknowledged him with a fatigued look.

Appearing like two old men, slightly hunched and meandering, they pressed on into the plum stained afternoon, sticking close to the shadowy scrub and rock channels that led onward. They remained silent in an effort to conserve energy and stopped often to drink or to dig for water, which was getting hard to find.

Hour after hour, they metered out their steps as if traveling in slow motion to an invisible rhythm. The hot air hung low to the ground in a dirty inversion layer, devoid of moisture and stealing their own. Rodney lagged behind, mumbling something quietly as he diligently followed Sheppard, who was stumbling more frequently, his bodily reserves near depletion. His soiled uniform hung off his body as if two sizes too big.

*****

Eventually twilight made it easier to breathe and brought the air temp into an oppressive but non-lethal range of existence. They continued to follow the dry river bed to a small stand of dwarfed tree like forms. As they wandered into the half dead grove, Sheppard suddenly fell hard onto the rocky soil, slamming down on his face and stomach.

"John! John, are you alright?" Rodney fell next to him and turned him gently. "John?"

Sheppard opened his eyes half way and mumbled."Shit! That hurt!…Gotta rest. Here …" His cheek was bleeding.

"Ok, here is good." Rodney parroted out of fear as he pulled out a few rocks out from under him to make him more comfortable.

"Water?" Sheppard whispered as he held his face. Rodney opened the canteen and helped him drink. The water seemed to act like oxygen, returning color to his face and reviving his eyes. Satisfied, Sheppard pushed it away so Rodney could drink. "Thanks buddy." He was out of breath as he struggled to sit himself up. " I don't think…I can go much more." He whispered again, looking remorseful at Rodney. He trembled with fatigue.

Rodney looked back at him, sharing his distress." Almost there. We can do this, remember? You said you would get me home. I'm not letting you break your promise Sheppard." He said, trying to bolster his friend with guilt.

Sheppard watched him for a moment, wanting to apologize, but stopped short. "Ok." He managed softly. "Any sign of our goonies?"

Rodney checked the scanner."No. I think they gave up."

Rodney bristled, wanting to change the subject. He was feeling irritable and weak. His hunger felt like it was burning a hole through his back."Ok. Now that we have that out of the way, have you seen anything out here that we could eat? And don't ask me to turn over any logs. You're on your own on that one."He snapped as he removed his bandana and wiped his face. He looked back at Sheppard, who was strangely quiet. "John?"

Sheppard put his finger to his lips, motioning to Rodney to be quiet. Rodney froze. Sheppard slowly drew his pistol and brought it near his chest, listening to his surroundings. Small chirps came from all directions, intensifying as the light faded. Sheppard remained immobile for what seemed like an intolerable period of time to Rodney. Like a flash, Sheppard thrust his pistol out and above him, firing two shots. Rodney dove into the dirt, hands covering his sunburned head as the sound echoed out into the dark. He peeked out from behind a boulder at Sheppard."What the hell!?" He whispered, frightened to the core.

Sheppard was still looking up. "Wait for it."He whispered back.

Rodney sat up to see why Sheppard was riveted to the sky. A loud cracking noise broke the silence as something heavy fell from the tree top and down between the two bedraggled men, smacking the ground .

"What is it? Check it out McKay."Sheppard directed, staring in fascination.

"Are you nuts! You check it out!" He stayed crouched a few feet away. Sheppard holstered his gun and took a deep breath as he painfully rolled onto his knees to take a look. His fingers made contact with smooth scales. He carefully held the creature up, intentionally swinging it close to Rodney. "Damn it Sheppard! Bastard! What the hell is that!" He shrieked, lurching out of the way.

"Dinner…I think." Sheppard grinned, his white teeth catching the dim light. The creature in question looked like a hairless possum but it was covered in tiny light green scales. It was about the size of a small cat and it had no visible eyes.

"Aww No! You're kidding…Right?"Rodney cried. Sheppard drew his knife. "Why do I get the feeling I am about to see a side of you I've never wanted…"Rodney continued, disturbed at the unfolding scene.

"We need food. Scan it and see if we can eat it."Sheppard dropped it and turned away, coughing hard for a moment and holding his chest."Please McKay, I… need something." He wheezed. The tone of his voice had turned serious, revealing the depth of his weariness. Rodney grabbed his scanner and came closer. "John, I really am sor…"

"It's ok Rodney, Just tell me. Can we eat it?"

He made a few adjustments to the scanner then ran it over the questionable life form. Rodney gave Sheppard a look of finicky dread. "Yeah, carbon based, not toxic. Or infected, maybe… Swell. So, what now?" Rodney could taste the bile from his disgust backing up in his scratchy throat. Sheppard plunged his knife into the creature and started to pare it open. He worked quickly as his shaky hands cut anything away that didn't resemble muscle.

As the inner reality of the creature became clear, Rodney snapped. "That's disgusting! Oh! Nasty! Its..Its…blue or grey?..Oh my God!" Rodney protested in sick observation, jamming his hands over his eyes. Sheppard sliced off a small bit of opalescent flesh and placed it in his mouth. It melted away on his dry tongue, waking his senses and provoking his stomach to growl. He moaned with pleasure.

Rodney backed away on his rear, flinching at the sound. "Awh! No! Raw?! I can't believe you did that!" McKay shrieked. Sheppard ignored him as he sliced off a larger piece and ate it with his eyes closed, savoring the sensation of solid food. "Sheppard?"

"McKay, it's good…man, really good!" He gasped, desperately popping another weighty piece into his hungry mouth followed by three more.

"Really?" Rodney paused, quickly changing his tune as he saw the enjoyment on Sheppard's face.

"Yeah, try a little."Sheppard continued, still chewing. He cut a few fat slices and offered them over on the blade of the knife.

Rodney hesitantly took a piece and braced himself for the taste. He popped it onto his tongue and started to chew, triggering his eyes to fly wide. "Holy shit! That is good!"He garbled as he grabbed the remaining slices from the knife, still outstretched to him by a smiling Sheppard. They disappeared in seconds. Rodney eagerly peered at the pile of unexpected goodness that lay before them. "How much more is there?"

"That was it, unless you want this." Sheppard pointed at the entrails.

"No!…I'm good! Full, actually." Rodney held his hand up in a 'stop' pose. After a few minutes of contemplation, he leaned back and looked up into the twisted canopy."See any more of those things?"

"Naw. Just the one. Liked it eh?" Sheppard grinned.

"Would be better with some kind of gravy. And some mashed potatoes."Rodney grinned back.

"Ever wonder what's in the meat loaf back in Atlantis?" Sheppard asked as he wiped his knife clean and sheathed it. He delicately crawled away a few feet and assumed a horizontal position.

Rodney paused, and then sniped back. "Oh thank you! Now I will!" Sheppard smiled as Rodney joined him, reclining a foot away.

"Hey,…John?"

"Mmm?" He groaned as he closed his eyes and tried to block out the plethora of painful sensations crippling his body.

"Feel better?"Rodney asked, weary but clearer.

"A little. You?" He lied.

"Like I could eat a dozen more of those…things…I can't believe I did that… For god sake! It had no eyes!"

"Let's… not think about that. How are you holding up?"Sheppard mumbled as he began to slip into unconsciousness.

"Painful. Exhausted. But, yeah, not as bad. My feet. They feel like they are broken. Crap, everything hurts. I can't imagine how you're…"Rodney grumbled as he looked up at the night.

"Me too. I gotta rest McKay, then we head out again."Sheppard faintly replied as he passed out.

"Ok." Rodney soon saw that Sheppard was asleep and felt uneasy being alone to wait out the dark.

The quiet fell around them in a hot shroud that seemed to pin them to the ground. Sheppard slept for a few hours under the sooty sky, his breathing labored enough for Rodney to check him from time to time. As Rodney's blood sugar stabilized, his fears welled up, keeping him awake. Every part of his body ached, complaining as he felt the hard ground beneath him. He checked his scanner again, noting the gate was a half days walk. Discouraged and afraid, he looked over at Sheppard and gave him a nudge.

"John, do you think we will get home?"

He moaned as he woke, then turned. "We're gonna try."He whispered. His injured face made him seem twenty years older as he tried to smile with reassurance. Grateful for the gesture, Rodney returned the smile.

"Do you think Teyla and Ronon made it?"He asked tentatively.

Sheppard turned away. "I…I don't... I can't talk… about that right now. I..Can't." His voice broke. Sheppard slowly pulled his arms up over his chest, bracing his injured one as if to protect himself. Rodney hadn't thought about his friends in a couple of days. He realized that Sheppard hadn't stopped thinking about them.

Rodney let the silence fall over them again as he tried to sleep.


	4. Chapter 7 conclusion

___________________________________-Chapter 7 *

A few hours before dawn, they set out again in search of the gate. The warming sky seemed to rise out of the embers from the night before, glowing incandescent at the horizon in a wash of crimson. Small galaxies could be seen with the naked eye, like falling snowflakes randomly spaced across the dark void. Rodney pondered the beauty of it as he walked, his body numb from exertion. He fearfully watched Sheppard in front of him, staggering off balance every few meters and felt certain that at any moment, he would fall and not get up again. He marveled at his friend's sheer determination, feeling guilty that he had come back for him. He didn't feel like he deserved such devotion. He saw time and time again how Sheppard had put his life on the line for others and he still found it remarkable. He had even managed to teach Rodney to do the same and on occasion, let go of his selfishness. Sheppard didn't seem to ask for anything in return. Except maybe friendship. 'That must be it. They all die, don't they? His friends…He never gets keep them…He never gets the chance to say goodbye…No wonder…How he must feel…I can't do that…Not to him.' He thought.

As they approached the edge of a wide plane, Sheppard stopped and turned to look at him. "McKay, check it out…" He pointed ahead, barely able to hold his arm out. Rodney looked out into the distance. The small arc was visible in the pre dawn light.

"The gate! Sheppard! We're almost there!" Rodney smiled in disbelief.

"Yeah, we are."Sheppard bent over, hands on his thighs as he took a moment to rest.

"John?"Rodney asked as he moved up to him, "Are…you alright?" Rodney steadied him, putting his arm around him.

"I'm not doing that great…lots of pain, kinda out of gas…but I can make it. Just need a moment." He said, looking half alive.

"Ok, but I can't carry you. My legs fell off a kilometer back." Rodney joked.

"Don't worry McKay, I would never live that down. " Sheppard replied, standing upright again. "Besides, look at you…Raggedy Rodney…I would never hear the end of it.." He said, throwing the joke back at him. Rodney pouted his clay face, looking like the doll as insinuated, but was secretly relieved that Sheppard could still fight back.

"Bite me Sheppard! Are you gonna piss around or can we go now?"

Sheppard ignored him. "What does the scanner say? Any bad guys?" He asked, trying to balance himself in the wind that was picking up.

A quick look on the screen made Rodney's face go slack. He fell to his knees. "John, we're not going to make it." His blue eyes stared up, pleading his case.

"What? What is it!" Sheppard grabbed the scanner from Rodney's hands. As he studied the screen, his tired eyes welled up. "Shit! They're everywhere! Damn it! Not now!" He threw the scanner down in frustration, then let himself fall down into a sitting position. He thrust his hands into his hair and closed his eyes. "Crap!" He yelled.

"John, what can we do?" Rodney asked. Sheppard stayed still for a moment, then looked back at the distant gate. "Help me McKay, how many and where?"

Rodney interpreted the dots on the scanner. "Total of twelve. Four groups of three. Evenly placed around the gate every 30 meters or so. That's all I can see with this."

Sheppard nodded, still looking out over the plane. "Do they have any way to track us?" He asked, his focus regained.

"Not that I know of." Rodney watched as Sheppard checked their weapons one by one. He handed back a stunner in addition to Rodney's pistol.

"Here, take these."Sheppard stated, his voice spare and chilled.

"What…what are you thinking?"Rodney asked, nervous by Sheppard's demeanor.

"We are gonna take them out. You will need to do what I say, when I say it. Clear?" Sheppard said sternly.

"Oh come on! You can't even stand! How in the hell are you going to stop twelve armed men in your condition? Hello?! Memo to Sheppard! Are you completely crazy from exhaustion or do you just want to commit suicide?"Rodney ranted abruptly, arms waving. He wasn't prepared as Sheppard lunged forward.

Faster than Rodney had imagined, Sheppard was eye to eye with him and seething."We are going to do this! Even If I die in the God damn process, you are getting home! I won't settle for less! Are you fucking going to help me or not?" He spat through his teeth. His body was shaking.

Rodney tried not to panic as he held his hands up in defense. "Sheppard! Calm the hell down! Yeah! I'm going to help! Don't you think I want to?" He felt his anxiety explode in his chest. "I'd actually like to freak out and run screaming because that's my style, but you beat me to it! Look at us John! We're screwed! I am seeing your aura for God's sake! I can barely walk without crying and you,..Shit, you might drop dead any minute! That's an issue!"

He lowered his strained voice as Sheppard stared through him, mouth open and seemingly in shock. Rodney's thoughts raced through his head trying to grasp why John was behaving so. 'Why did he… He knows this is wrong…He's smarter than this…'

Rodney held his ground. "Look Sheppard, we need a plan. A good plan. And by the way, if I go home, so do you. Both of us, alive. That's the deal. "

Sheppard kept staring. Rodney could see the shame in his eyes, at last held into the open. "That's it! You want to get killed! It would be a hell of a lot easier than risking something like this again…You matter Sheppard! You mattered to Elizabeth and everyone else you couldn't save! You matter to me! Snap out of it! I am not letting you off the fucking hook!" Rodney stopped, realizing he might have gone too far. He felt raw and afraid. Rodney trembled as he took a deep breath.

Sheppard backed away slowly, quietly holding his head in pain. The wind seemed to hold him up. He vacantly looked at Rodney, his hazel eyes catching the light of the sunrise. "I'm sorry… McKay. Your right…I was out of line…We both go home." He whispered as if disoriented, feeling stunned and ashamed. He collapsed onto his back and stared up. "Ok,… We don't panic. Forgot that rule for a moment." Sheppard mumbled to himself, seemingly disconnected.

Rodney remained quiet, hoping he hadn't made things worse. He tried to organize his thoughts as his emotion receded. He slowly centered himself and softened his tone. "John, before we do this, I need to know. What can you handle? And don't bullshit me!" He could tell that Sheppard was so strung out in his weakened state, he had little control over his emotions, let alone his injured body. The beatings he had taken at the beginning of their ordeal had been brutal, robbing him of his stamina and strength. He calculated that it had been nearly a week since Sheppard had eaten a decent meal. He had endured almost five days of extreme solar exposure and dehydration. 'He really is a crazy son of a bitch!"He thought.

Rodney moved to sit by him and was immediately subdued as he took a closer look at his friend; tears of duress streaked away from the outer corners of Sheppard's eyes as he lay motionless under the now salmon sky. Rodney knew he was soon to arrive at the same grim place.

"Hey, John, tell me…How do you feel? What can you tolerate?"He asked kindly.

Sheppard attempted to speak. His voice barely audible, now torn apart from yelling. "Really weak…Can't think very well. Walking is hard; makes me dizzy but… I can do it. Can't run. Balance is gone. My vision is off but I can shoot. I will need to be close."He said quietly, keeping his eyes averted.

Rodney opened the canteen and drank then passed it to Sheppard. "Ok, we can…work with that. I can see, but I can't guarantee in what color spectrum. Maybe I can run? It will hurt like hell, but gunfire is always a good motivator. I can shoot, but badly, as you know. So, do we have enough between us to make this work?"Rodney smirked with the question.

Sheppard finally looked at him, a small smile on his face. "Yeah, think so. Timing will be everything. We can get close, then wait till nightfall. We will need cover. It will give us a chance to rest." He capped the canteen and gingerly turned on his left side in preparation to get up."McKay?"

"What?"Rodney said.

Sheppard looked him in the eye intentionally, his gaze heavy with atonement. " I…I'm really…not myself. Sorry buddy."

"You're the same stubborn bastard that I have come to appreciate as my friend. And you're welcome." Rodney replied calmly as he stood up. He felt as if his legs were broken. "Ok. You lead, I will follow. Head out now?"He puffed out, wincing at being back on his feet.

"Yeah." Sheppard said peacefully, accepting Rodney's hand up.

*****

The heat of the day had been vicious, baking the ground into an impenetrable surface, unyielding to any attempt at digging. Sheppard lay behind a large black boulder, checking the level of the canteen. He took a drink and held it in his mouth for a moment, letting it soothe him. 'This is the last one. For now.' He thought. He could hear Rodney muttering something to himself. "McKay." He scratched.

Rodney sat near him in the shallow shade of the rock, bandaging his blistered feet with strips of cloth. "Oh yay! More good news?" He whimpered, sensing Sheppard's disappointment.

"This is the last of our water. Can't dig down here. This is yours." Sheppard sealed the canteen and tossed it to Rodney. He leaned his head back against the rock and closed his eyes, seeking escape from the rippling heat that twisted the landscape.

"Then I had better just think how 'not thirsty' I am. No problem. Speaking of life and death problems…And we have so few…How much more of this solar barbecue are we in for?" Rodney asked in a bitter tone. He fought with his bandana, trying to tie it on properly; it being smaller after stealing fabric from it.

"Hour maybe." Sheppard whispered faintly as he put his hand up to his face, feeling moisture. His nose had started to bleed. He put pressure on it, making it stop. Rodney flailed next to him.

"Fucking fabulous!" He spastically yanked off his bandana in frustration." Stick a fork in me, because I am so God damn done! My hair is drying up and blowing away…I am gonna die bald and burnt to a crisp! How 'bout you?" Rodney's sarcasm waivered in the hot wind. Tears sneaked to his eyes; his resolve worn out.

"I don't know…Rodney. I…don't know."He wiped his bloody fingers onto his pants. He looked near death if he stayed still. "I have been thinking… About our 'plan'. It might not be the best, but hear me out?" He croaked. Rodney just nodded, hoping it would all be over soon. "Your data pad…Does it still work?"

Rodney grudgingly pulled it off his back and fiddled with it. "Yeah, if you want to listen to ITunes or something but I don't think this is really the time. The battery is low."

"McKay, can you make it be loud? Ya know, like blast a sound or a song loud, really loud?" Sheppard opened his eyes.

Rodney wrinkled his cakey face at Sheppard."What? "

"McKay! Can you? Yes or No?"Sheppard gasped out.

"Yeah, but…You want a distraction?" He asked, squinting.

"Exactly…Something to make the goons go running. Preferably away from the gate."Rodney thought about the question pensively. He opened the canteen, took half his ration, and then gave the rest to Sheppard. Sheppard reluctantly accepted after Rodney pushed at his good shoulder.

"Does Celine Dion work?"Rodney continued.

"Who?"

"She's Canadian…High pitched."He smiled.

"Fine, whatever. Just has to be loud."

"No problem. That isn't the whole plan, is it boy wonder? Cause we'd have better odds in Vegas." Rodney sniped.

"No, and by the way… you're the sidekick. I'll know more at nightfall." Sheppard snarked back just before he coughed repeatedly, making his nose bleed again. Rodney threw a wad of tan fabric at him. "Thanks."Sheppard mumbled as he held it against his face.

Rodney put his hands over his eyes and rested into his palms."We are one bloody limb away from a Monty Python skit." Rodney quipped, trying not to panic from his discomfort and delirium.

"Shut up and rest McKay. We go soon." Sheppard continued to hold the cloth against his face as he closed his eyes again. He focused on the hum of the heat, trying to imagine it was the sound of a far off Lantian sea. They were almost home.

*****

Nightfall seemed to bring little relief as Sheppard and McKay looked out at the gate, now blanketed in the remnants of a smokey twilight. The twelve guards stood now in three groups, making them more manageable. Sheppard studied the scene then turned to Rodney."McKay, we are 400 meters from the gate. We can follow the rocks down to about 100 meters. I need you to place your data pad with this…"He held up a block of C-4. " Set it with your pad right about there, by their transport. Then get back to me. I will plant the rest of the C-4 there, and there." He pointed at two locations in front of the gate but before the transport. "We are gonna funnel them between the charges. I want you to run and get behind me before they go off, dial the gate and I will cover you, then follow you through." Sheppard's eyes were glassy and sluggish.

Rodney nodded as he checked his weapons then looked at his friend; his gut falling in fear. "John, I…I want to say something, before…" He paused, seeming conflicted.

"We will do this McKay. We are going home. Promise." Sheppard disconnected his P-90 from his vest.

"John, please, I want to…"Rodney whispered.

Sheppard cut him off. "Not till we're home. Time to go." He pointed in the direction they were to head, pushing away the emotion he was feeling. Rodney took one last look at him then started to move.

They moved undetected among the dark stone and took their positions. Rodney nervously crawled out, trembling the entire way to the unguarded transport. Covered in sweat and trepidation, he initiated his data pad, placing it under the rear power compartment along with some C-4. Somehow handling a chunk of plastic explosive was easier to face than the thought of a venomous bug. He was relieved it wasn't the latter.

Sheppard took longer, painstakingly moving over the rocky soil on his belly. His movement was slightly clumsy as he tried to alternate taking the pressure off his arm and ribs as he crawled. He placed the remaining charges, ever watchful to the movement of the guards. He gave what he had to complete the trip, coming to rest behind a stone just out of the blast zone. Rodney was waiting for him. "All done." He said, holding his side. "You ok Sheppard?"

He nodded, out of breath, holding his ribs. Once he could breathe, he whispered in Rodney's ear.

"It's official."

"What?"Rodney mouthed, confused.

"You're not a chicken shit." Sheppard whispered, grinning proudly at him. Realizing it was a compliment, Rodney smiled and held up his middle finger. Sheppard squelched his smirk then pointed. "Move to the boulder by the gate. When the C-4 detonates, dial Atlantis. I will cover you. Go!" They scrambled awkwardly into their respective positions, waiting for their cue.

Sheppard strained at first to hear it , but within seconds, the sound of a woman's voice echoed out into the clearing. The guards, one by one turned and slowly walked defensively toward the sound, weapons drawn. Sheppard held the detonator in his hand, waiting for the right moment. Two of the three groups walked into the trap. Four men stayed at the far side of the gate. Sheppard realized that left Rodney to run right into them. "Shit!" Sheppard whispered as he moved to cover him. His body began to fail, a little more with each step among the rocks. 'Just a little more…I have to do this!…Damn it John! You will do this!' He commanded. Agony ripped though his body as adrenaline pushed him into overdrive.

Barely in time but as planned, he was behind and to the side of Rodney as he triggered the explosion. The phosphorescent flash blotted out the clearing for a few seconds; metal shards scattered in every direction out of the smoke. It was difficult to see if anyone in the blast zone was still standing. Sheppard saw Rodney break into a run. The remaining guards raised their weapons and took aim. Sheppard instinctively tried to run forward, firing his P-90 in a wide arc. He saw two men fall as his legs gave out, throwing him down onto his injured arm. He yelled out as the searing pain of his effort cut into him. His P-90 skidded out of his reach.

Rodney dove behind the DHD, then popped up and started to dial. The two remaining guards pressed forward, firing at the console. Sheppard clawed to his knees, drawing his side arm and fired again. The third guard fell immediately. Rodney frantically completed the sequence and pulled his pistol out, getting off two shots. The fourth guard dropped, but not before hitting his target. Rodney's chest arched as the white blast lifted him up and back, dropping him just short of the active portal. "McKay!"Sheppard screamed as he fought with all his strength to get to him, his body no longer responding to his commands. Sheppard stumbled as he reached him. Rodney was conscious but paralyzed. He looked at Sheppard with terror, eyes wide. Something was coming.

A lone guard was running from the direction of the explosion. Sheppard spun on his knee, dropping him just a few meters away with his pistol. Gasping for air, Sheppard searched the area with his eyes. It was all clear. He felt something wet and fingered his chest, touching on a small sting of pain. The burning sensation expanded within his body and filled his ears with a dull pressure. He saw the blood, glistening in the blue light of the star gate as it escaped the fabric of his vest. 'Not yet!' His mind cried out. Adrenaline surged again and raged against the new pain that was consuming him. Sheppard willed his body up and threw himself forward, using his momentum as he latched onto Rodney's arm. They pitched through the gate just as a new wave of soldiers arrived at the clearing.

He crashed against the ruddy colored floor of the gate room, sliding a few feet into something. The floor was cool against his face. He could see Rodney breathing, staring back at him. As if under water, muted sounds and shadows scattered around him as his vision began to fade. A slick of blood spilled out from his body, blooming wide. It felt heavy against his skin, lulling him away into the dark.

*****

The view from the patio comforted him inside as he leaned against the rail. The mid day sun chased the chill of the ocean air off his face. He ached for distraction, trying to think of anything else but his recent ordeal. There were too many images playing in his head. He had survived, but it felt like a hollow victory. He hated feeling helpless. He hated feeling. When it came to friends, feeling their absence disturbed him more than he wanted to admit. He heard the mess hall door open behind him.

"Hey." Ronon said, walking up to McKay.

"Hi."Rodney replied, rubbing his neck. His skin itched, still peeling from his solar exposure. "How are you doing? You look better." He asked half heartedly, looking up at Ronon.

"I'm kinda sore still, but I'll be fine." He looked thoughtfully at Rodney, seeing he was distant. "We all miss him…"He said quietly.

"Yeah. It's not the same. It feels wrong."Rodney whispered.

"I know. It will take time."Ronon looked out onto the water. "He saved you. He stopped the assault. I couldn't hold them. If he hadn't shown up, it would have been over. We'd be dead."

Rodney ran his hand over his face, stressed by the facts he was trying to forget. "I still think it was too high of a price. A lot of people were saved, but we suffered for it. He suffered. What did we get out of it other than suffering and loss? It's a hell of a pattern to keep repeating, never knowing who we are going to lose just so we can learn more about the Ancients. "He took a few steps away, trying to ward off his anger.

"And the Wraith?" Ronon asked.

"Ya know, sometimes I just want to say that's not my problem and go home to my own galaxy. But I guess,…It's not that simple. I don't know. He didn't have to come after me. I guess, I feel…guilty or something. "Rodney looked away.

Ronon turned his back to the sun and faced McKay. " Don't. He wouldn't want you too. He knew what he was doing. I just wish I could have been there." He put his hand on Rodney's shoulder in reassurance. Rodney reluctantly nodded, knowing he was right. It had been Sheppard's choice. Something he would have done for any of them.

The doors of the mess cracked open and Carson peeked through. "Gentlemen…"

*****

The feeling was soft and warm. He didn't want it to stop as it moved delicate and hushed through him like a ray of morning light. John Sheppard opened his eyes slowly to see a beautiful woman smiling at him. Teyla caressed his face in a tender motion, following the angular contours. "John, can you hear me?"She asked quietly. Clouded and immobile, he blinked once, attempting to acknowledge her. He couldn't speak. He tried to focus on her face but his vision flickered in and out. "You are going to be fine, John. You made it back. Rodney is alright." She eased his black hair away from his forehead. Her words filtered in softly and began to make sense.

He struggled to mouth one word. "Ronon?"

Teyla nodded. "He is alright as well. Some were lost, but we made it. You will be alright." Her words echoed into his fractured consciousness, connecting directly to his unguarded shame and guilt. Guilt for all the ones that never made it back. He thought of his men. He thought of Lt. Ford. He thought of Elizabeth and his chest tightened painfully against his wound. Emotion overwhelmed him inside, waking his panic. Rodney appeared above him, smiling.

"Hey Buddy! Where have you been? Didn't recognize you without your mask!"Rodney's relief bounced out like a rubber ball. He took Sheppard's hand and gave it a squeeze. "It's been a while…But, you're going to be up and around soon. And by the way, I am never going camping with you again!"

Sheppard tried to respond, but couldn't. He swallowed, still searching for his voice. He could hear Ronon nearby, talking to someone. Shadows blurred and shifted as he fought his upwelling fear. He needed to get to the surface…

Carson soon hovered over him, looking at him with kindness. "Alright, let the man rest. Off with ya now!" Sheppard heard the murmurs die down as Carson remained, watching him. "Can you hear me son?" He asked gently.

Sheppard blinked again while he looked into the doctor's deep blue eyes. He struggled to find his words, but still fell short, choked with pain and confusion. He managed to raise his hand from the bed and toward the doctor. Carson quietly took it and nodded with reassurance. "It's alright. We have you John." Minuets passes in silence as Carson let him get his bearings.

Sheppard at last managed a feeble whisper. "My…Men? Lost?" His eyes desperately searched the Scotsman.

Carson looked at him with compassion, sensing his old wounds as well as his new ones. "Aye son. Two. The rest of your team made it home. You did all that you could. You saved many. "

Sheppard listened, tightening his hold on Carson. "From one who knows lad, some are lost, no matter what we do. Sometimes, it's out of our hands. To live, you must let it go." He said quietly. The wisdom in Carson's eyes seemed to permeate Sheppard. He blinked again and squeezed Carson's hand before releasing it. The tightness in his center began to relax.

"Carson?"Rodney's voice broke the moment.

Carson turned. "Yes, Rodney?"

"Can I just have another minuet?"He asked, looking self conscious.

"Alright, but just one. He's still weak and needs rest. One minute." He said, smiling back at Sheppard before he moved away and out of sight.

"John?"He whispered. Rodney peered at him, emotion weighting his quiet smile. Sheppard slowly met his eyes. "I just… wanted to say…Thank you…for not giving up …for not saying goodbye. You kept your promise and got us home." Rodney smiled again meekly, clearly relieved he was able to express himself. "I'm proud that you're my friend…best friend…actually." He played with his fingers, nervously awaiting some kind of response.

Sheppard searched for his words again. Rodney saw him struggling, so he leaned down to hear. "Back at you…buddy." He whispered faintly. Rodney felt his friend's hand give his sleeve a tug. Somehow surprised, his smile widened while his blue eyes reflected his gratitude. "Still think… I'm crazy?"Sheppard whispered again, his voice failing with the effort.

"That would be 'crazy son of a bitch', actually, and yeah, I do."Rodney whispered back, grinning. Sheppard gave a small smile as he felt the pull of sleep start to overpower him. Sheppard closed his eyes as he heard Carson chase Rodney out. His thoughts softly threaded the needle of his consciousness, looping back on Carson's words over and over as he fell away from his fear. He was letting it go.

Fini


End file.
